Snack Time
by magicsmith
Summary: It's time to snack. In a series of oneshots, different characters think and talk about life and food. Not to be taken seriously. Chapter 10 'Surprise Halloween', featuring Orihime and her cooking, is now available.
1. Midnight Pizza

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Snack Time**

It was night. One of those summer nights when it is difficult to go to sleep. The temperature is too warm and the air is humid making the bed uncomfortable. Then the pillow becomes a hard mass under the head and the sheets cling too closely to the body. The air feels stale. There's no breeze, no relief to the general discomfort. Noises seem amplified by the humidity. Joints and muscles ache, because they can. Even the mind works against all efforts to find rest. Summer. Urgh!

What do people do when they find it difficult to sleep? Some read, some watch television, do yoga, exercise. Others play games, surf the net, have sex, drink or lie there more determined than ever to sleep. Those who cannot find any way to distract themselves, have nasty little spats and arguments that end with both people feeling even more hot and uncomfortable with a grudge to hold.

Other people snack.

**Midnight Pizza**

Ichigo was having trouble trying to sleep. After his recent return from Soul Society he felt slightly guilty about not telling his family the truth and it was hard to adjust to his normal life. And he missed Rukia.

Well, he missed her presence in the cupboard and the rustle of the pages as she read her stupid manga. She had no taste in manga. She could have been reading something good, like _One Piece_, or _Naruto_ but she insisted on reading those stupid horror ones. As if her life did not have enough horror to face. He tried to get her to read _Death Note_ once, but she made fun of the Death Gods and said that they looked nothing like Shinigami. They resembled the demons that inhabited the 7 or was it 9 Hells, except those demons were cute by comparison. And she thought Light was an idiot. Then she really began to tell him all the other things she thought were wrong and as the list grew he wished he'd never shown her the stupid book. He just didn't understand her sometimes. He missed her stupid comments and hoped she would come back.

Kon was of no assistance. He whined on and on about how he missed Rukia and that Ichigo should have taken him to Soul Society. Or he'd repeatedly state that Ichigo should have brought Rukia back, he should have done this, and he should have done that, over and over. Ichigo had put him through the washing machine, gave him to Karin to play (with who promptly gave him back), gave Kon to Yuzu (but Kon escaped), pounded him until the stiffing started to come out. Kon complained even more. Finally, in an attempt to partially placate the mod soul, he asked Uryu to mend Kon. By 'accident' he left Kon with Uryu but it didn't work. Instead of waiting until the next day, Uryu returned Kon to Ichigo the same night, late. He didn't want to hear all the complaints either.

"I would almost prefer to converse with Keigo," he told Ichigo before hurriedly leaving.

No, Kon was no help.

Kon was another reason Ichigo was having trouble trying to sleep. Even though Uryu had stitched Kon's mouth closed, Kon was still mumbling through the stiches. Probably he was trying to impart more unwanted advice or complaints. Ichigo had tried to muffle the sounds but the mumbling was annoying. Ichigo was not going to take out the stiches. Not for a few days at least, maybe longer. Even though he could still hear the mumbling, it was preferable to hearing Kon talk.

All of these factors contributed to the reality that Ichigo was not comfortable. His bed was in turn too hard or too soft, but it always remained too hot. He lay on top of the sheets, trying to find a cool place in the bed. There was no cool place. He got up and lay on the floor. Yes it was cooler, but the floor was hard and it was closer to where he had placed Kon. The mumbling was louder. He couldn't sleep on the floor with the annoying vibrations.

Ichigo sat up and checked the clock. 12.30 am. He had school tomorrow and a test! He hated sadistic teachers who decided to give tests with one day's warning. He had studied, or course, but it still seemed unfair to have a test 3 days after they returned to school. It made it even more important that he slept; otherwise he might be too tired to think properly. This time he wanted to beat Uryu, though he knew he had little chance. For a second he let his mind show him the imagined look on Uryu's face if he beat him! It would be sweet.

Sitting here, staring at the clock and thinking about the test weren't helping him go to sleep, either. He got up, unlocked his door and went to the bathroom and then back to bed. Still he couldn't sleep.

Maybe he was hungry. Yes, that was it! He was hungry. His father had pounced on him saying that he had dropped his guard again. Ichigo was so tired of this sort of stupidity. While he was avoiding one of his father's jumps, he had knocked over the table. Yuzu and Karin had finished their meal, but the rest of the food had fallen to the floor. That stopped the fight but Karin stopped Yuzu from making them something else to eat.

"They were being stupid and they ruined your cooking. If they want to eat, let them cook", Karin said. "Anyway, don't you have that assignment to finish by tomorrow?" As she spoke she gave her father and brother her normal disparaging look.

"Yes, I only finished the draft last night and it will take at least 2 more hours to finish,' Yuzu said. She yawned. "I'm tired. I woke early this morning because I had to go shopping for groceries."

Isshin had tried to convince Yuzu to cook, but with no success. She was busy with her assignment and Karin told her father to get lost. Then Karin and Yuzu both locked their doors and ignored their father's knocks and pleas.

"I'm hungry. I worked hard today and I need food. Yuzu, take pity on your poor father who loves you," he yelled at her door.

"Then stop jumping Ichigo all the time, especially at dinner," Karin had opened her door and yelled back at her father. "It makes me think that you've missing something important, Dad, like common sense. Now, be quiet or Yuzu won't make breakfast either."

Beaten, Isshin stopped trying to persuade Yuzu to feed him. Instead he tried to convince Ichigo that he should cook.

"You knocked my dinner off the table. You should make me another meal," was his first attempt.

"You started it. If you didn't insist on attacking me before meals, this wouldn't have happened. You should cook dinner for me", Ichigo responded. His stomach growled in agreement.

This caused his father to try to fight him again. Ichigo gave up and went to his room to study, locking his door and ignoring any knocks or pleas, putting on his headphones and concentrating on the subject of the test. No wonder he couldn't sleep; he was hungry. It was all his fathers' fault! He would go to the kitchen for a snack. Yes, he felt like snacking if he couldn't sleep.

Carefully, he opened his door and looked into the hallway. No lights were on. It seemed quiet, well as quiet as it could get with his father snoring. That man was loud in everything he did. Still he did try; he tried to keep the family together in his own way. Not the way a normal person would, but what family was normal?

Ichigo quietly went down the steps, trying to avoid the squeaky step. Yes, he missed it, but the next one decided to squeak loudly. Maybe it would have been easier to go out the window but then he would have had to find a way to enter the house quietly. It was too much trouble. Pausing, he waiting to see if the noise woke anyone. His father stopped snoring for a few seconds, but turned over and started the gobbling sounding snore. How Yuzu and Karin could sleep through that, he did not know. He did not hear any sounds from the other rooms.

Hurriedly Ichigo descended the rest of the stairs and made his way to the kitchen. Closing the door, he turned on the light and opened the fridge. Was anything there? He poked amongst the milk, the tofu and vegetables. There was no prepared food. Yuzu liked to prepare things fresh, most of the time. He quickly opened the cupboards. There was some Pocky, but he did not feel like sweets. Packets of rice, beans other foods that required preparation. He wanted something more substantial than Pocky, but easier than really cooking. It wasn't so much a snack if you had to work.

He quickly looked in the freezer. Success! Some frozen pizza that he could heat in the microwave or the oven. Definitely the microwave. The oven would take too long, and he wanted to get back to bed. Reading the instructions he put the pizza in the microwave and waited. Watching the minutes count down he decided he was thirsty as well. He turned to the fridge and poured some juice. At that moment the microwave finished and made the familiar beeping noise. Oh no! If he hadn't got distracted he could have stopped it before it made that noise. Maybe as he'd shut the kitchen door the noise would not have woken anyone.

Waiting a few seconds he heard no movement. Relieved, he removed the pizza from the microwave and started eating.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Looking up, Ichigo saw Karin was there, waving her softball bat, trying to look brave.

"I'm warning you, whoever you are. I'll hit you with this bat if you don't leave immedia…. Ichigo! What are you doing? Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" She spoke loudly at first but became even louder when she saw it was only her brother.

"Shhh. Gee you're loud. I'm hungry. I didn't get any dinner, remember. Our idiot parent made sure of that. I can't sleep, so I thought I'd eat something. And I'm not wearing a shirt 'cause it's hot. Put down that bat before you hurt someone."

"Is there enough pizza for me?" Karin asked her eyes on his plate as she licked her bottom lip.

"Heat up your own. There's plenty in the freezer. But close the door or you'll wake up the other two and I don't want another fight while I'm trying to eat. I just want to finish this and go back to bed. I have a test tomorrow."

Karin bustled around getting her pizza.

The door opened again and slammed against the wall, jarring the wall. Both Yuzu and Isshin appeared, Isshin looking more alert than he normally did when he woke up in the middle of the night. He also looked angry. Ichigo was suddenly pleased he wasn't an intruder if it meant he had to fight a man who looked as angry and imposing as his father. He'd never seen him quite like this before and Yuzu looked worried.

"You scared me. I hear noises and checked your bed, Karin. You weren't there and Ichigo's room was empty. I thought someone had kidnapped both of you. Then I heard the noise downstairs. I woke Dad…. Why aren't you wearing a shirt Ichigo? Are you eating pizza? Is there enough for me?' Yuzu said.

Isshin rubbed his face and the imposing figure disappeared, replaced by the joking features of his father as he also demanded pizza.

"Make it yourself. And make me another one," Ichigo demanded hoping his father would take the hint.

Of course Yuzu ended up preparing the food. It was fortunate that she had gone shopping that morning because by the time everyone had finished snacking there was no frozen pizza left.

It was 1.30 am before anyone got back to bed.

Once more in his room, Ichigo lay down on his bed. Kon must have gone to sleep as the muttering had stopped. It was late. Maybe he could go to sleep he thought, just before sleep found him.

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Author's Note;

Fun to write. Silly idea. Written for my amusement.

Please review if you like it.

MS


	2. Ramen and Regret

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Ramen and Regret**

It was hot. Uryu did not notice the heat very much, except when it made his fabric become damp and more difficult to handle. He had not yet gone to bed as he was working on a newer and better version of his Quincy outfit. His hands had started to sweat and he was worried about staining the material. He placed his sewing on the table and dried his hands on a towel he kept close for that purpose.

He had been unhappy with the problems the cape had created when he was in the entrance gateway to Soul Society and had tried to work out a modification that would give the impression of a cape but without the vulnerability. He had become absorbed in the work once he had finished his homework.

He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. The special sewing light helped, but he found that he forgot the necessary breaks from sewing. His eyes were tired and the bridge of his nose was a little sore from where the glasses rested. It was time to stop sewing for the night. He replaced his glasses gently, shifting the place where they rested so he could look at the time.

11.30 pm! Uryu was surprised. He knew that some time would have passed, but he had not expected it to be so late. He stood up and stretched. He felt his muscles protest at working after being forced to remain in one position for so long. But he continued his stretch, moving his shoulders and bending his spine until his muscles responded. He knew what happened if he failed to stretch properly before he went to bed after sewing. He would sleep in uncomfortable positions and wake up sore and tired.

Stretching complete, Uryu considered if he should go to bed. No, he was hungry. Not very hungry. Well, okay, he was very hungry. He had eaten little during the day because….because he had been thinking about how he was no longer a Quincy. His powers had gone. When he broke the Quincy artefact in Soul Society he had destroyed his powers and an important part of his identity.

He looked at the new outfit. Why did he bother? There was no point in creating a better version. He could not wear it, not if he was not a Quincy. There were no other Quincy's who could wear it. He was a fool! He had destroyed his own powers blindly believing that he would find a way to recover what he had lost. He had only returned from Soul Society a short time but when he awoke his first realisation was that he was no longer a Quincy. He was now less than a Shinigami. He was just an ordinary human. He had been so much more than ordinary and now he was nothing.

Uryu had considered himself a Quincy ever since he received the explanation from his grandfather. He had been young when he had listened to the story of his heritage, but it had impressed him. He had the heritage. He was the last of the Quincy's. Or was he? Now he was only a part of a man. He sometimes looked in the mirror expecting to see a faded reflection, or nothing at all. Each time he saw himself and felt disappointed that the loss he felt so deeply was not shown in his reflection. He picked up the Quincy outfit he had been sewing and crushed it in his hand. He did not want to remind himself of his failure. How he had failed his grandfather, how he had failed all Quincy's. He opened a drawer and threw the outfit inside. Why he didn't tear if, rip it into pieces he did not even consider. He just wanted it out of his sight, another reminder of his failure. Worse than the failure was the feeling he had also betrayed all Quincy's with his brief alliance with the substitute Shinigami, Ichigo.

He shook his head. He had gone through all these thoughts and emotions previously. There was no point in thinking about a situation he could not change. He was hungry. He should eat and then go to bed.

Uryu went to the kitchen. He did not feel like eating much even though he had felt so hungry previously. The weight of his emotions dampened his appetite. He looked in the cupboard and found some packets of instant ramen. He only ate ramen occasionally and did not really like instant ramen. He remembered that this had been on special offer which is why he had purchased the food.

Every time he ate ramen he thought of Naruto and the obsession he had with ramen. This thought always amused him slightly. In his current mood ramen seemed like a good idea. It was quick and easy and he could go to bed and try to sleep.

He put the water on to boil. While he waited he packed his bag for school the next day. School was a torment to him because he would see Chad, Orihime and Ichigo and that would only remind him again of the part of himself that he had lost, forever. He had to complete his education now because there was nothing else waiting for him when he left school. Only the drudgery of work and eventual death. He doubted if he would marry. There was no point in living or procreation.

"Stop it. Just stop it, you idiot." He spoke aloud. Oh, great, on top of everything else, he was talking to himself. At least the sound of his voice prevented those depressing thoughts, for a few moments. He shook his head and went to complete cooking the ramen.

He sat at a table and ate, hardly tasting the food. He thought back to the few meals he had eaten in Soul Society before he …..well the meals he had eaten. It had seemed more fun to eat with other people with whom he was becoming friendly. So unlike this solitary meal he was now consuming. He had withdrawn from his companions since their return. The pride of the Quincy's was strong and his companions had known him as a Quincy. They would not wish to know him now. Maybe he should think of transferring to a new school.

He washed the dishes and saucepans and went to bed, disheartened. It took him sometime before he slept. Every dream was a reminder of all he had lost.

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_Author's Note_

Please review.

MS


	3. Renji and Rukia

I do not own Bleach.

It's been a while since I've updated this story. Hope you enjoy the new chapter. There is no need to warn of romance in this chapter but feelings are mentioned.

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**Rukia and Renji**

'I've heard that you'll be going to the human world soon, Renji. I thought I'd give you a few tips because you don't want to stand out. Well, stand more than necessary.' Rukia said looking at his tattoos and red hair.

'I'm not going there to make friends, Rukia. I'm going there to work,' Renji objected.

'But some of the time you'll be in a Gigai and you'll have to act like a human. You don't want to look like a moron, do you? I mean the tattoos look strange but you don't need to act like a moron as well,' Rukia teased.

'Stop calling me a moron, Shortie,' Renji replied.

'I'm not short. At least my hair doesn't look like it exploded out of the top of my head. Do you use TNT or gunpowder to style it?' Rukia was enjoying this. She had always enjoyed their insult fights. She knew she was winning.

Before Renji could respond with the appropriate insult, a young Shinigami came into the room carrying a tray. She was wearing a very unconvincing fake moustache and a green budgie was perched on her shoulder. The budgie was squawking loudly and flapping its wings. The young Shinigami smiled at Rukia as she placed the tray on the table and left without saying a word.

'Who was that?' Renji asked, intrigued.

'Oh, she's new. Cartoon something or other,' Rukia said offhandedly.

'What's with the fake moustache? You don't see them often. Couldn't she find one a little more convincing?' Renji thought Rukia was being a little elusive with her answer.

'Look. Don't mention the fake moustache, or the budgie to her. Just like you don't mention Madarame is bald, Captain Hitsugaya looks like a kid, or Edward Elric is short. I mean people don't tell you that your eyebrows make you look like a moron. It's dangerous,' Rukia explained. 'The last person who asked her about the moustache took five days to recover from the wounds.'

'Who's Edward Elric? And stop talking about my eyebrows, onion head,' Renji returned to the insult game.

'Onion head? That's a new one,' Rukia wondered if that put Renji ahead in the insults. She looked at Renji who raised the eyebrows in question at her. It reminded her of the last question he'd asked. 'Edward Elric? Oh you'll find out in the human world, especially if you hang out at the school. He's a character in a manga and anime. And I will talk about your eyebrows, idiot. Are you trying to win a prize for being the most tattooed Vice-Captain? I think you've already beating Hisagi and no one else wants to compete. Here, I hereby award you the tattoo prize,' Rukia picked up a box off the tray and handed it to Renji. That would put the points in her favour in the insult game, she decided.

'Dim-wit. I'm not doing it for a reward,' he said taking the box from her and examining it with interest.

'Then why….' Rukia began.

Renji looked at her, a serious challenge in his eyes, and she became quiet.

'It's like you said. It's one of those questions you don't ask,' Renji's voice had an edge to it that Rukia did not normally hear directed at her. It was unexpected. She felt flustered and tried to think of a response that would not make the situation even more volatile.

'Okay, so what's this box do? Is a new form of hollow detector?' Renji changed the subject before the atmosphere became even more oppressive.

Rukia looked at the box in his hand for a moment. It was taking her a little while to recover from his reaction. 'It's a juice box. It contains liquid fruit and you drink it out of the box.'

'How do you do that?' Renji looked at the box in puzzlement.

'You get this straw and poke it in this silver part, and then you suck the juice through the straw.' As she spoke, Rukia demonstrated the actions she was describing. Renji copied her. A jet of juice erupted through his straw and hit him in the eye, then dripped off his face and onto his clothes.

'You're holding the box too tight, Renji,' laughed Rukia as she listened to his swearing.

Renji stopped swearing and sipped through the straw and then spat out his mouthful. 'This is awful. People actually drink this stuff?'

Rukia looked at the label on the box. 'Oh, that's a new variety. I haven't tried it. Here, try mine.'

'I don't want to drink through your straw. It's got your slobber all over it,' Renji objected recommencing the insult game.

'We'll swap straws then. And I don't slobber, loser,' Rukia took the opportunity to insult Renji in return.

After swapping the straws, Renji tried the juice. 'Not bad,' he admitted. 'Okay, I've mastered the juice box. What now?'

Rukia picked up another item from the tray. It was a painted metal cylinder. It had a very strange looking metal buttons on top.

'Is that a bomb of some kind? It's very compact. How big an area will be affected when it explodes?' Renji became agitated as Rukia started fiddling with the buttons on top of the cylinder. 'You're not going to explode it here, are you?' he asked.

Rukia continued her actions and was rewarded with a loud fizzing sound. Renji got to his feet, prepared to run from the blast.

'Why would I show you a bomb, weirdo? You're not likely to use one. This is a can of soft drink. You press these tabs to open it and then drink from the top. Here try some,' Rukia offered him the can.

Unused to fizzy drinks, Renji took a large gulp and started coughing as the fluid flooded his sinuses. Rukia slapped him hard on the back in an effort to help. The coughing agitated the drink and it spilt over the top of the can and onto Renji's already wet clothes. After some more coughing, swearing (Renji) and laughing (Rukia), Renji recovered. Renji was beginning to look less well presented than normal.

'I think we better leave the drinks for the moment,' Rukia suggested, the occasional laugh still escaping. 'The drinks seem to be, umm, endangering your existence.'

"Oh, you can be so observant sometimes,' Renji snapped, slightly embarrassed. 'I suppose you didn't have any trouble with any of this? Little Miss Perfect.'

Rukia just smiled sweetly, not bothering to reply. She knew she was winning the game.

'Okay, what's next?' Renji asked with an air of resignation.

Rukia opened a container that seemed to contain ice.

'Ice. Why do people eat ice? Are they too evolved to drink water?' Renji commented.

Rukia spooned some shaved ice into a bowl and poured coloured liquid over it. She placed a spoon in the bowl and offered it to Renji. Renji took the bowl.

'You should be careful with this,' Rukia started to explain before Renji interrupted.

'Careful! Why should I be careful? It's just tiny bits of ice,' Renji retorted. He grabbed the spoon and quickly scooped several spoonfuls into his mouth. Suddenly he stopped. His eyes started to cross and his face creased with pain. Renji dropped the bowl to clutch his head. The bowl fell on its side adding yet more liquid and stains to his clothing. Rukia watched amused.

'What you are experiencing if commonly called 'brain freeze'. It happens when you eat icy things too fast. The pain will pass very quickly,' she explained.

When he recovered, Renji picked up the bowl and tentatively scooped up some of the remaining ice. This time he had learnt from experience and did not have a recurrence of the pain. Renji was beginning to wonder if these items had been chosen deliberately to make him look stupid. This was a new dimension to the insult game.

'Right,' said Rukia. 'You seem to have mastered shaved ice. Are you prepared to try something else?'

Renji considered the question. 'How long did it take for you to master all these?' he asked. 'Is there anything that contains less water? Food perhaps?'

Rukia smiled maliciously and took another cylinder shaped object from the tray. After removing the outer layer she gave it to Renji and took one for herself. Rukia then grabbed a sort of tab and pulled the top partially off. Renji copied her and then reached for his chopsticks. He tried to get a grip on the food within the cylinder. He managed to break some off and put it in his mouth. He spat it out almost immediately.

Meanwhile, Rukia had picked up the jug of hot water on the tray and poured it into her container. She was laughing at Renji.

'That's disgusting,' Renji said.

'Your table manners are disgusting, pig. You didn't wait until I showed you how to prepare this. You're too impatient, Renji.' He scowled at her, irritated by the comment.

Rukia continued after noticing her insult had the effect she anticipated. 'You pour hot water into the cup and wait 3 minutes.' Rukia poured some hot water into Renji's cup. He looked at her suspiciously. She always said he was impatient at some point when she was insulting him. Sometimes he wondered if she might be right.

'You can try it now,' Rukia told him.

With learned caution, Renji sampled the food. 'It tastes a little like Ramen,' he said surprised. 'I mean if you added too much salt and used old vegetables. But it is a little like ramen. At least it's edible.'

'It's called 'Instant Ramen'. I agree that it isn't as good as fresh,' Rukia smiled. 'But you'll eat anything. Won't you, tapeworm?' Rukia scored another point.

'I'm just polite. It's rude to be picky when someone offers you food. I thought you were so careful not to be rude,' Renji decided to insult her by implying she was rude. It was a ploy he didn't often use, but he knew she was winning. She was insufferable when she won. Maybe it would distract her, a little.

'It's also impolite to ignore your own preferences,' Rukia responded. She could feel victory within her grasp.

Renji decided that he did not want to pursue that argument any further. Rukia in this mood could always find reasons for her actions. Maybe no one else would be convinced by her arguments, but that wouldn't matter. If Rukia thought it was a good reason she would become stubborn. It was better to try to return to insults, though he felt like giving up. May be he would let her win, this time.

Changing the subject quickly before she could take her argument any further, Renji asked, 'Is there anything else you wanted to show me? I have to go to the human world soon and there are a few things I really should attend to before I go.'

'Sorry to take you away from your important business.' Despite the lightness of her reply, Rukia felt a little hurt by Renji's implied impatience to leave. 'Just one more.' She handed him a square yellowish object.

It was unlike anything Renji had seen. He bit a corner of it. It tasted dreadful and bits of the food fell onto his sodden robes and stuck.

'Are you trying to poison me, as well as ruin my clothes,' he spluttered.

'If you had been more patient I would have shown you how to remove the plastic. Here, you do this,' Rukia commented. Renji followed Rukia's' demonstration.

He tried the food again. It was still disgusting, but much easier to eat.

'It's still revolting. What is it?' he demanded.

'It's cheese. I've been told it is an acquired taste, but you may encounter it if you eat pizza. I know it tastes peculiar, but I've grown quite fond of it.'

The food instruction finished, they put all the cups and bowls back on the tray.

Rukia became serious. 'I'll miss you, Renji. We've had so little time to talk to each other since I've returned. It seems like we always have things to do. It's been so long since we had a chance to talk and find out what has been happening in each other's lives. It's just nice to talk to someone who doesn't expect me to be anything except Rukia. With you I can relax, forget the behaviour expected of a noble and just act as I feel. I don't have to be brave or perfect all the time. I wish you weren't going so soon. There's so much about the human world I could tell you. You haven't told me how you became vice-captain. Sometimes I miss the days when we were kids, struggling to survive,' Rukia was not looking at Renji as she said this but he felt touched by her words.

'I don't miss being hungry, stealing, being scared and watching friends die, Rukia, but I do miss the time we spent together,' he paused, unsure if he wanted to break the moment. Even though she said he did not expect her to be strong, he had always relied upon her strength. He would prefer to remember a laughing, mocking Rukia, rather than the Rukia who seemed lost and unsure who seemed to need his support.

'You won the insult game, this time, but only because I let you, pea brain. Clever idea to use food as a way to create insults. I'll remember that,' he said.

'Yeah, well you'd better have a bath and change into clean clothes. Anyone looking at you would think you were a raw recruit rather than a vice-captain. Have fun in the human world. Just try to pretend you don't have a drinking problem,' Rukia said quickly recovering from her sombre mood.

Renji looked at her. Drinking problem? He didn't have a drinking problem. Oh, yeah spilling all the drinks on his clothes.

'Hey, I already said you'd won. Are we starting another game?' Renji asked.

'No. Come on. I'll walk you to the bath. It's sort of on my way,' Rukia responded.

They left together, insulting each other. Maybe another game had started.

A short time later the Shinigami wearing the fake moustache came in and removed the tray and cleaned the room to the accompaniment of budgie squawks.

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MS: Okay, Cartoonpen. You're in the story. Will you please put down that baseball bat? And the knives? And the tennis racket? And the machine guns? And the 340 kilo gorilla? 

CP: Is that all? Two lousy mentions? I expected so much more and I am reduced to two lousy mentions?

MS: Yes, but as promised I will mention that this chapter is dedicated to Mist, the green budgie. As Mist is now in Soul Society may his seed tray always be full and his water clean.

CP: (Shameless plug warning). For more fake moustache action, read my story _Harry Potter and the Manslaughter Suit in Wonderland_. (Fake moustaches will be featured in the second chapter, when I write it). Shameless plug ended.

MS: Yes, wonderful. Now go away.

(Cartoonpen runs off carrying the weapons, chased by the gorilla and twittering on about fake moustaches and white rabbits).

MS: Thank goodness she's gone.

Sorry about the interruption.

The insult game mentioned is not in the manga or anime, but I've noticed that Renji and Rukia seem to really like insulting each other. I thought it could be a game they played as they grew up together.

I do not plan to feature any other fan fiction author in any of my stories. I lost a bet. No further bets will be taken and I haven't asked about the fake moustache.


	4. Yachiru

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

This was the original idea I had for Snack Time. I decided that it was time I had a bit of fun with Yachiru.

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Yachiru

Yachiru walked along the balcony, happily humming to herself. 'It's been a good day. Ken-chan is happy because he has fought 69 guy (what did that tattoo mean anyway? No one would ever explain it to her) and won, of course. He'd also got Pretty Boy to do the paperwork.' This made Yachiru really happy as it meant she didn't have to waste her time pretending to work. Yumichika grumbled as he normally did but that was as it should be.

The other thing that made her happy was she'd upset Madrame. He was so funny when he was angry. You could see his face flush all over the dome of his skull. That made her tease him even more. She'd painted his head when he was asleep, or maybe he was drunk. It was hard to tell sometimes. When he woke up he'd known immediately it was her. What was wrong with a pink head? She had pink hair, and when he flushed his dome was pink. Yachiru didn't know why he made such a fuss. The memory of his frantic and unsuccessful attempts to remove the paint made her laugh, as did the cursing that accompanied it. He'd chased her until she turned and gave him the stare. He didn't like the stare.

Then he'd threatened to tell Zaraki about her prank, but Yachiru didn't care. The threat made her laugh even more. Zaraki would probably just laugh and tell Madrame to forget it and then challenge him to spar.

Yachiru hoped he would. She liked watching Zaraki spar. He enjoyed it so much. It had been a long time since he needed to remove the eye patch when he was fighting, but Madrame was getting better. She hugged herself. It had been a good day and it was only going to get better.

She was going to snack. Before Matsumoto had gone to the human world, she had kindly asked Yachiru is she wanted anything. Yachiru was pleased because they had all sorts of lollies and sweets in the human world which she rarely got to try. She'd asked Matsumoto to bring back as many different types as she possibly could.

Today was the day, or the night, that Yachiru was going to snack on them. Matsumoto had given her an enormous bag of lollies, chocolates and assorted goodies a few days ago, but Yachiru wanted to eat them on a good day. If she ate them on a good day she would enjoy them more and the good day would become even better. Today was the best day this week and Yachiru felt that she deserved them. She had not eaten them as soon as she received them. Now she would eat them all. Maybe she would offer some to Zaraki, but she knew he didn't like sweet things very much. He would refuse and she could eat the lot without feeling greedy, or guilty. She smiled brightly as she moved toward the place she had stored her goodies. No one would think to look there.

She skipped along looking at the night sky. The moon was out. The stars did their usual twinkling. The clouds did their usual scudding past the moon. The wind did its usual job of making the tree's branches move against the sky. The crickets made their usual racket. It was good that everything was as usual. A good day and a normal evening and lots of snacking. Life was good.

Yachiru had not eaten much during the day. She thought that today would be a good day and she had been right. The less she ate the more she would enjoy the snacks. It was fun being right. It was fun being her. It was fun being the Assistant Captain of 11th Division.

She stopped and looked toward her goal. 'Why is a light on in Ken-chan's office?' She thought. 'Why can I hear voices talking in Ken-chan's office? Who is laughing? Who could be in Ken-chan's office at this time? Ken-chan doesn't spend much time there, if he can help it.' She hurried to the room.

She paused in the doorway, allowing her eyes to adjust to the light after the darkness outside. Yachiru was happy she had paused instead of rushing into the room because the devastation and destruction before her nearly made her cry. She did not want anyone to see her cry, ever.

Empty packets, bags, wrappers, tins and soft drink cans were strewn all over the office. Those packets had contained her treats, her lollies, her sweets, her reward. Every single one had been opened, every single one was empty! It was hard for her to tear her eyes away from the brutal pillage of her longed for snacks, but she must, so she would know who to punish.

'I am the Vice-Captain of the 11th Division and I will have my revenge. I'll get Ken-Chan to help,' she told herself.

She bravely tore her eyes away from the ruin of her dreams and looked at the people who had committed this crime. She gasped in surprise. 'It's Ken-chan, Baldy, Pretty Boy and Blondie. They ate my snacks.'

This was too much. She rushed into the room.

'Who ate my treats? Who ate my snacks,' she yelled.

At her entrance, the room fell silent. The four men turned to stare at her and then looked at each other guiltily.

'I found them behind a huge pile of paperwork. I thought they had been there a long time as the pile was so large,' Yumichika started to say nervously.

'I put them there to hide them,' Yachiru yelled at Yumichika. "I wanted to eat them tonight and now they're all gone.'

Zaraki looked embarrassed. 'I told him it would be all right. He thought they were mine as he found them in my office.'

'I'm disappointed,' Yachiru wailed. 'I want my snacks.'

'I could go and get some more snacks for you,' suggested Yumichika nervously.

'I don't want the crummy snacks from here. I want snacks from the human world. I want Pocky. I want Black Black. I want melon flavoured biscuits. Matsumoto bought me one of each variety of Pocky and I wanted to try them all. She brought me green tea soft drink. I wanted gummie lollies and Turkish delight,' she swallowed. She was nearly crying in disappointment and frustration.

She turned her back to the destroyers of her daydream. Today was not a good day. Today was turning into a rotten day. Her fists clenched as she planned what she would do next. She heard whispering behind her. Why were they whispering? Zaraki was particularly bad at whispering. What were they talking about? Were they plotting to find her other secret stash?

Zaraki cleared his throat, 'Um, Yachiru. We are all very sorry. Yumichika is especially sorry as he feels it is his fault.'

Yumichika looked sullen but nodded.

'Yumichika, Madrame and I will go to the human world and replace your snacks. Okay?' Zaraki asked.

'No, it is not okay. As there are 3 of you going I want more. You owe me. You ate my snacks and made me unhappy. So I want lots more,' Yachiru said thoughtfully. 'Why isn't Blondie going? Why can't I come?'

'As you were the owner of the snacks it seems only right that we replace them. We thought you might like some company while you wait and Izuru was unlucky, I mean he drew the short straw, I mean he suggested he stay,' Madrame gabbled.

Izuru flushed.

Madrame scowled at Yachiru as if remembering the earlier incident with the paint. It appeared he had finally managed to remove the pink. Izuru did not look too happy either. The men got to their feet, but stood there, uncertain.

'Don't be long. I want to go to sleep soon, but I want to eat first,' Yachiru ordered. 'Go on,' she said to the hesitating men. 'I want my snacks now, not tomorrow. It was your idea.'

Madrame, Zaraki and Yumichika skulked hurriedly out of the room. She could heard them arguing about money once they were out of the room. Yachiru shrugged. It wasn't her problem.

'So will you play with me Blondie? I quite like chess, but you can't use your queen. I think using a queen is cheating,' she looked at his unresponsive face. 'You do play chess, don't you?'

'Yes, I play, but I'm not very good. I prefer Backgammon,' Izuru replied reluctantly.

'I don't want to play Backgammon with you. I want to play chess,' Yachiru went over to the table and pushed all the wrappers, papers and other items onto the floor.

Izuru bent down and began to pick up some of the rubbish.

'Leave it,' Yachiru ordered. 'Now let's set up the pieces. I will be black and seeing you're Blondie, you can be white,' she suggested giggling.

One of the things about playing chess that Yachiru liked was that people always acted as if she didn't know how to play. She kept her all abilities carefully hidden, not just her chess abilities. She preferred it when people underestimated her. It made it easier.

She watched Izuru's first move. She copied his move. As she watched him play she realised he had told her the truth. He wasn't very good at playing chess.

'Do you play chess often,' she asked.

'No. It never interested me that much. Oh, I didn't see that,' he said as she took his rook.

'You have to pay more attention,' Yachiru said. 'How long have they been? I'm hungry.'

'They might have trouble finding something open,' Izuru said hesitantly as he moved another piece.

'That's their problem, and yours. You shouldn't eat things that don't belong to you,' Yachiru said as she took the bishop he just moved. 'You're an assistant captain, you should know better.'

'I'm sorry. I didn't know. You're an assistant captain, too,' he groaned as he looked at the board and quickly moved another piece.

'Yes, but I don't eat other people's snacks unless they offer them to me,' she countered as she took a pawn.

'What about the time you swiped Ikkan-zaka's snacks?' Izuru asked without thinking shaking his head. He looked at the board as if already accepting that he wouldn't win.

'He'd been rude about the training wheels on my zanpaku-to,' she responded. 'He deserved it. He's always so greedy, he never shares. How did you know about that?' Yachiru asked.

Izuru looked up guiltily after moving another pawn haphazardly. 'I hear a rumour in the bathhouse,' he said quietly. 'I shouldn't have mentioned it. I apologise.'

Yachiru suddenly grinned at Izuru as she moved her knight. 'Checkmate. I told you to pay attention. You're a nice person, Blondie. I wasn't sure because you were the assistant captain to Smiley,' she noticed his blank look. 'Gin Ichimaru. I called him Smiley. But you seem okay. If Ken-chan likes you, then I like you. What were you talking about with Ken-chan?'

'I was just trying to get some ideas about training. 11th Division is known for its' fighters and I thought if I could get some hints, it might help improve morale. 3rd company is pretty shaken since the captain, um, left,' Izuru said.

'Good idea. Maybe you could borrow Baldy to help you,' she stopped struck by another idea. 'They should be back soon. I don't want to play another game of chess. Can you play any other games, aside from Backgammon? Can you play Go?'

The sound of loud voices interrupted. Yachiru got up and excitedly went to the door.

'I can see them. Baldy seems to be wobbling a bit. I hope they didn't start drinking. They might have forgotten my snacks if they started drinking,' she said sadly.

'I'm sure they wouldn't forget,' Izuru said adding very softly, 'They wouldn't dare forget. Even Zaraki is scared of you, sometimes.'

Yachiru turned from the door. 'I'm sorry I didn't hear what you said. Pretty Boy is singing. I think they have been drinking, but they are carrying bags, lots of bags.'

'I hope they remembered the sake,' Izuru said quietly. 'I only agreed to stay because they promised sake.'

Fortunately for Izuru, Yachiru did not hear that comment as she had gone to greet Zaraki, loudly demanding to look in the bags.

'Wait a little. Let's go to the office and you can see everything,' he suggested.

'What's Pretty Boy got? That doesn't look like snacks for me,' Yachiru demanded.

'No, it's not. It's for me,' Zaraki said quickly. 'He said he'd carry it because I carried the most as I'm the strongest. I just couldn't carry that as well.'

Yachiru looked at him suspiciously. 'Ken-chan, have you been drinking?'

'Yes, I have. You shouldn't question your Captain like that, Yachiru, I've told you that before. Don't question me in front of anyone,' Zaraki replied.

'You always say that when you've been drinking. Just for that you can't have any of my snacks. I hope the bags Baldy is carrying are for me too,' Yachiru said.

'Some are,' Madrame said carefully trying not to slur.

The bags were quickly placed on the table, except for those held by Yumichika which were placed on the floor, near the door. A bag held by Madrame quickly joined them, but Yachiru was too busy examining the variety of snacks.

'You didn't get Black Black. I really wanted to try it. There aren't all the varieties of Pocky,' Yachiru complained. 'Oooh. I haven't seen those before. They're called Choco Boys. Preserved plums, but I can get preserved plums here! Why did you buy them? Instant ramen? Why would I want to try instant ramen? Rukia let me try some and I didn't like it. Gummie pizzas. Can't wait to try those,' she looked up and noticed that no one was paying attention. 'Ken-chan, you didn't get everything I wanted. You'll have to go back.'

'Not tonight, Yachiru. Not tonight,' Zaraki replied a drink in his hand. 'Now eat your snacks like a good Assistant Captain and go to bed. Otherwise I will ask you to do the paperwork.'

'You wouldn't do that, Ken-chan,' mumbled Yachiru through a mouthful of black sesame Pocky. 'I always get it wrong and you have to spend too long explaining.'

Zaraki let out a bark of laughter. 'Yeah. I should have known that threat wouldn't work. I had thought it might scare you.'

Izuru said to Madrame,' Yachiru suggested you might assist me in training 3rd Division tomorrow. I was planning to start at 7.00 am.'

Madrame made a face at Yachiru who poked out her tongue.

'Can you make it later? I don't like to get up too early. Maybe 10.00,' he suggested.

'No, you'll be there at 7.00,' Zaraki told him ignoring the outraged look on Madrame's face.

'Okay, I'll be there,' Madrame said reluctantly.

'Since it was your idea, you can help too, Yachiru,' Zaraki commanded.

A smug smile played over Madrame's features.

Yachiru shrugged and continued eating. Early mornings did not bother her. It would give her another opportunity to tease Baldy and maybe Izuru as well. While she planned how what would annoy them the most, she ate everything that had been brought back from the human world, except for the preserved plums and instant ramen. These she gave to Izuru. He accepted them uncertainly.

'Ken-chan, you have to go back to the human world tomorrow and get me some more snacks. I'll write a list. You owe me,' she said rapidly, knowing he was about to protest, 'Otherwise I will do the paperwork.'

Zaraki laughed. 'Maybe, Assistant CaptainYachiru. Now, go to bed.'

Yachiru skipped off to bed. Today had not been as good as she hoped, but maybe tomorrow would be better. Plenty of teasing to be done; and maybe more snacking.

* * *

I'm not sure who will snack next.

Reviews welcome.


	5. Keigo

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Keigo**

Keigo was hot and bored. No one had been around after school for the last few days and he was sick of playing video games and hanging out by himself. If you hung out it should be with someone else. Hanging out on your own was pathetic. Slouching around the streets alone was no fun and he was sick of his own company. He knew all his own jokes and didn't laugh at them much anymore. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked not knowing where he was going. Why should that matter? If he walked far enough he might see someone he knew.

If he stayed home he was picked on by his sister. Didn't she understand that he was the head of the house and she should listen to him? Okay, she was older. And she cooked and had more common sense and was better than him at most things. But he was still the male. Males were superior.

With his awesome masculine strength he could defeat any woman. Well, maybe he couldn't defeat Tatsuki or his sister and though he hadn't really tried he didn't think he would have much luck defeating Honshou. Maybe he would be able to defeat Ichigo's sister with his fearsome male muscles. Not Karin, she was pretty fierce. Yuzu, yes, he could defeat Yuzu, with help, as long as Ichigo didn't find out.

Every one had become dull. He knew they were studying, just to show him up. Ichigo continually refused his invitations to hang out together. Chad was always busy. That honey, Orihime, was very elusive; not that he would dare ask her out. He wanted to continue breathing. He wasn't sure who would inflict the most injury if he tried. He was scared of being beaten up by either the girls or the guys. Thinking about it made the sweat trickle down his face. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. He hated it when it was this hot.

There was no way he wanted to hang out with Uryu. That guy had no sense of humour. Coming top in the class meant he must be really boring. It would be embarrassing to be seen talking to him. Keigo would lose all social standing. People would question his popularity. Why Ichigo spent any time talking to the guy amazed Keigo. What could they have in common, unless, unless Ichigo had taken up sewing.

Keigo thought about it for a few seconds, picturing Ichigo with a thimble on his finger, pushing a needle through some cloth as he discussed patterns with Uryu. The whole picture was so wrong. Or was it? Maybe he was correct. Ichigo was a closet embroiderer! He liked to sew! Keigo decided to keep a close watch on Ichigo; check for any stray thread, pins stuck into his shirt, anything that would betray his new fetish.

What sort of things would Ichigo make? Toys or clothes? Or would he make fancy embroidered tablecloths? Keigo was not sure. He might start looking through Ichigo's bag every so often just to check if he was keeping his sewing hidden in there. Then again, that might result in pain.

It wouldn't fit in with Ichigo's image, but Keigo knew that eventually people would accept the truth, once he provided the proof. On reflection, he decided it was a bad idea. Ichigo would not allow that sort of rumour to go unpunished. Keigo might have a masochistic streak, but there were limits to amount of pain he liked to experience. Some pain was fun.

Mizuiro was not spending as much time with Keigo, not that he ever did. Keigo suspected that he might be studying too. It was a conspiracy. Everyone had decided they would improve their grades, just to make him look bad. Either that or he was dating again. Keigo could never understand why Mizuiro was so popular with females. He wasn't especially good looking, or tall, or rich. What did he have that Keigo lacked? It just wasn't fair. No one was being fair.

Any one would think that school was important the way they carried on. School was just a past time, a way of keeping teenagers off the streets for a greater part of the day. It wasn't as serious as everyone believed. For a brief moment Keigo thought of going home and studying, just to prove he could get highly ranked in the class. It was a very brief moment. Keigo shuddered. Studying meant opening text books and reading them. It meant having to think about things other than games, girls and food.

Keigo wandered past the houses, not really looking, not caring where he was going. Maybe he would go to the supermarket and hang around. It was air conditioned at least.

He turned around and headed in that direction.

The supermarket was cool and deserted. Keigo wandered around, stopping every so often to pick something up and put it back. He was still bored, but at least he wasn't hot. He lingered over the DVD's they had. Some of them he wouldn't watch in a million years. No, make that a trillion years. Why people would buy such junk was beyond him. Why didn't they sell stuff that appealed to normal people, like him? Instead they brought out all this stuff based on books written by weird people in the past. What about a good modern story with plenty of sex and violence? It didn't matter about the plot, as long as the sex was explicit and the violence was graphic or the sex was graphic and the violence was explicit. Either way would be good, or both. Yeah. Keigo fantasised about the movie he would make if he had the chance.

Maybe he would give Orihime the starring role, if she agreed to be his girlfriend. Not that he would let her participate in any of the graphic stuff. Or he could wait until he was famous, then she would just naturally fall for him. Didn't females always fall for the rich, important and famous guys like him? He brightened at the thought. It was going to happen. He pictured Orihime hanging possessively on his arm as they walked past the paparazzi yelling at them to look that way. She kissed him lingeringly as he held her close with the camera's taking thousands of photos. Everyone would be so jealous!

"Hi, Keigo. What are you doing here," a voice interrupted his fantasy.

Mizuiro was looking at him quizzically. "I didn't know you liked hanging around supermarkets. I didn't think you knew where this one was," he commented.

Keigo felt embarrassed. "I ,er, um, I came in to get some snacks. Yes, snacks. I was feeling hungry and I thought some snacks might help. What are you doing here? Having a break from all that studying?" Keigo emphasised the last word strongly. His hands were sweaty.

Mizuiro raised his eyebrows. "Studying? Why do you think I've been studying?"

"I can never find you after school. You don't answer your phone. No one seems to answer their phone when I ring. I have to hang out by myself. If you're not studying, what are you doing?" Keigo by this time had grabbed the front of Mizuiro's shirt as he ranted.

Mizuiro removed Keigo's hands. "Look, what you've done," he said indicating the wet patches on his shirt. "I'll have to change this shirt now. I'm not studying more than normal, not really. I just have other things to do."

"I thought we were friends," Keigo cried.

"We are friends, but we see each other at school. I don't have to spend all my time with you," Mizuiro replied rationally

"You've got other friends," Keigo accused.

"Of course I've got other friends. I'm friendly with a lot of people."

"But you're my best friend," Keigo said emotionally.

Mizuiro looked at Keigo his mouth compressed into a small "o" of surprise.

"Aren't we best friends?" Keigo asked urgently.

Flushing a little, Mizuiro replied hesitantly, "Well, you are a friend and we hang out together at school, but I've never thought of you as my best friend."

Tears poured down Keigo's cheeks. "I don't have a best friend any more. No one wants to hang out with me and I'm crying in a supermarket," he sobbed loudly.

"Stop crying, Keigo. This is so embarrassing. Okay, I'm your best friend. Will you stop crying now?" Mizuiro looked around the supermarket to see if anyone was paying attention.

"Do you mean it?" Keigo asked still crying.

"Yes," Mizuiro replied reluctantly.

"Then come back to my place and have some snacks," offered Keigo.

Sighing gently, Mizuiro agreed.

Keigo quickly grabbed a basket grabbing items off the shelves without looking at what he was taking, talking excitedly all the while. "I have some great new games to show you. I've wanted someone to help me with the two player games. Get whatever you want. I'll pay."

Mizuiro took some things from the basket and replaced them on the shelf. "I don't think we need creamed corn or oyster sauce. Here, get some Pocky and some of these bagel chips."

When they finally arrived at the cashier, Keigo found he didn't have enough money to pay for all the items.

Mizuiro sighed again, and paid the difference.

Once outside the supermarket Keigo started moving quickly to his home, but was forced to slow down due to the heat. Ambling along Mizuiro caught up. The sun had set, but it had not become much cooler. They briefly talked about the weather, but the heat made it hard to concentrate on talking and walking at the same time.

When they arrived at Keigo's house, his sister was not happy to see Keigo had brought home a friend. She softened immediately when she saw it was Mizuiro.

"Great. Maybe you can make this sad excuse for a brother be less of a pest. He's been in a sour mood for the last few weeks. Won't study, won't help around the house." Seeing the shopping bags, she asked, "Did you buy the stuff I asked for?"

Keigo shrugged. Mizuho quickly looked through the bags.

"You bought all this stuff and you didn't remember the things I asked you to get? Don't blame me if there's no milk or juice. You'd think you could remember just two items."

I'll go and get some," Mizuiro offered, wanting to escape from the fight that was brewing.

"No, Keigo will go. Won't you Keigo?" Mizuho demanded. "Mizuiro can stay here and tell me how well you're doing in school."

"I've got no money," Keigo whined.

"What about the money you got out yesterday?"

"I spent it on this stuff."

Reluctantly Mizuho gave him some money. "Don't take too long and don't bring anyone else home today."

Swearing to himself and sweating in the heat Keigo went to the closest shop and managed to find the milk and juice.

"It's too hot to be doing all this walking around," he thought. "Once I get home, I'm not moving."

Returning home, Keigo found his sister and best friend playing the game he had wanted to play with Mizuiro.

"Life just isn't fair. I do all the work and she has all the fun," he thought as he loudly closed the door.

Neither his sister nor friend paid any attention. Grumpily he put the milk and juice in the fridge and sat at the table. He watched for a while as they played through the levels. They were good, but neither was as good as him. He quietly started humming one note as he knew it irritated his sister. She ignored him. He increased the volume and she still ignored him. He hummed louder again and noticed she was starting to lose concentration on the game.

Keigo decided to increase the volume just a little more. Before he did so, his sister lost her life. Game over for both of them.

Mizuho turned around and gave Keigo a dirty look. "You did that deliberately. You really don't like sharing, do you? Either your friends or your toys."

Brother and sister glared at each other, years of mutual resentment in their stare.

"You ate my special birthday chocolate," accused Keigo moving closer to his sister.

"You licked my teddy bear. That was gross. I never wanted to cuddle it again after that."

"You stole my pink bunny," Keigo whined.

"You borrowed my favourite CD and lost it," Mizuho retorted rising from her chair.

"I didn't lose it. I lent it to someone but I forget who it was," Keigo answered lamely. "Anyway, you use my aftershave as perfume."

"You've got to be joking! That stuff? You steal my perfume," Mizuho retaliated moving a short distance from her brother.

"Only once, for a prank. You bend the pages of my books to mark the place."

"You never do the washing up."

Mizuiro got up and moved silently to the door. Keigo saw him and decided that the fight could wait until later.

"No, Mizuiro, don't go. We haven't had a chance to talk. We'll stop fighting, won't we, Sis?" he continued, nudging his sister.

She trod on his foot hard. "We're not fighting. Just talking about old times," she agreed.

Unenthusiastically, Mizuiro stopped.

"Let's sit down and snack," Keigo suggested. "Let's see what we have."

Removing the snacks from the bag Keigo realised why the total had been so high. He really should have paid attention. He'd bought Belgian chocolate, French biscuits, dolmades (what the hell were they?) cashews, Vegemite and other foreign snacks. He should have stuck to seaweed snacks, bagel chips and Pocky.

Mizuho looked at the food spread out on the table. "What were you thinking?"

"I wanted to try some new things. I'm sick of eating the same nibbles all the time," Keigo said weakly.

"I suggested some of the groceries," Mizuiro said hastily, eager to avoid witnessing another argument between the siblings.

"Okay. That's fine. Get some plates out Keigo and some glasses. Don't just stand there like a moron," Mizuho directed.

Keigo automatically followed his sister's directions.

They sat down and shared the food. Keigo found out he hated dolmades. Stuffed vine leaves were not as good as sushi. Mizuiro happily ate them. The brother and sister squabbled over the chocolates and biscuits. They all enjoyed the chips and pretzels.

Keigo piled some Vegemite onto a biscuit and bit into it. One tasted of the stuff proved that Australians were weird and had no taste buds. No one would eat that stuff willingly. Or maybe Australia had been settled by the Spartans. Vegemite might equal that black broth they always talked about. Why they craved it was a mystery. Keigo decided to give the Vegemite to Orihime. He'd heard she liked peculiar food.

He tried to get Mizuho to try some but she refused. "I saw the expression on your face when you bit into it. No thanks. If you don't like it, I probably won't either."

They talked little as they snacked except to insult each other's choice of snack or to ask for something to be passed. Mizuiro was quiet unless asked a direct question. Keigo wondered why he seemed so uncomfortable. He also briefly wondered why he had been in the supermarket. He hadn't bought anything.

As soon as they finished eating, Mizuiro looked at his watch pointedly. "Sorry. I didn't realise it was so late. I need to pick up something from the supermarket before closing time, so I'd better leave now. I'll see you at school, Keigo. Thanks for inviting me over," he said as he made a hasty exit through the door.

Keigo was too late to prevent his departure.

"He left so quickly because of you," he accused his sister, bitterly.

"It's you he doesn't like," she replied. Her voice was scornful and her expression matched her voice.

"He does like me. He's my best friend." His voice wavered uncertainly as he made this statement remembering their earlier conversation.

"I don't think so. If he is your best friend he'd visit you more often."

"He told me he was my best friend. He said it in public," Keigo protested.

"I suppose you were crying at the time," his sister accused triumphantly. She was smiling, a nasty twisted smile.

"Why would you say that?" He was hurt at her correct summation of the situation. When did she become so perceptive?

"You always cry. You do it to try to get your own way. It's always worked on Mum and Dad, so you keep using it. I find it embarrassing," Mizuho stated firmly. She crossed her arms and sighed loudly as she looked at him.

"I don't have to listen to this. I'm going to my room. Don't disturb me," Keigo said and stormed off.

Remembering his earlier idea, Keigo decided he would try to study for school. Bravely he studied Japanese Literature for 10 minutes before deciding it was just too hard. Reading books was not fun. He spent 15 minutes trying to study maths only to find that it made less sense to him than Japanese Literature. Why did they he need to learn these complicated equations? Would he need them when he was famous? Studying was too hard.

He started playing with his computer instead. His stomach hurt from eating too much. The glare from the computer screen was giving him a headache. He turned off the screen and went to bed, dissatisfied with the day.

"Is Mizuiro my best friend, or did he lie? If only I had a girlfriend! Maybe Orihime will like me after she tries the Vegemite. Maybe I should lower my standards and try for a girl in a junior year," Keigo thought.

He hugged his pillow and tried to sleep.

He still missed his pink bunny.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

Explanations:

_Vegemite_ is a savoury sandwich spread rich in Vitamin B. It is very popular in Australia. The English _Marmite_ is similar, but not as good. You spread vegemite thinly; otherwise the flavour is too strong.

_Dolmades_ are a Greek specialty of spiced rice wrapped in vine leaves.

_Black Broth. _The Spartans had a dish called black broth. It was made of whatever ingredients were available. From accounts of the time only the Spartans enjoyed it.

I am an Australian and I can insult Vegemite, which I happen to love. Please forgive me, Vegemite. The cruel words were not meant. I was joking.

If you've read Chapter 8 of _Daydreams Come True_ you might recognise the first few paragraphs of this chapter. It works better as a _Snack Time_ chapter and I've always wanted to write a chapter featuring Keigo. I hope you like it.

I will continue to update _Snack Time_ infrequently. I am concentrating on other stories at present.

Review please.

MS


	6. Toshiro

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Toshiro Hitsugaya**

The sun was slipping slowly below the horizon of a cloudless sky. The air was humid and still. No scent of flowers rose from the earth, as no flowers grew outside the building. Flowers required work, time and attention and were not the priority of the person working inside.

A shaft of the fading sunlight shone through the office window onto the desk of a Captain, a desk that appeared to have reams of paper placed all over its surface. The shaft of light slowly moved as the sun slipped further down, until it illuminated the compact figure sitting behind the desk, head bent over the paper on which he was busily writing. As the sun finally set, the light slowly faded into twilight and the office was cast into shadow.

Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya cursed softly, dropping his pen and massaging his stiff fingers and hand. 'Damn cramp,' he said quietly. He continued massaging his hand until the pain eased. Once the pain was gone he was startled to notice the darkness of the room. Yawning widely he rubbed his eyes and tried to look at the paperwork.

'Nearly complete. I wonder when I'll get rid of this and do some real work. No one told me that being a Captain would mean sitting behind a desk this often. I thought I'd be more than a blasted administrator,' he said aloud, his voice echoing through the otherwise silent room.

Rising to his feet, he stretched, raising first one arm and then the other above his head. He then rotated his shoulders, trying to ease the ache he felt after sitting for so long. 'I'm too young to feel this stiff. I need more exercise. That's it. Tomorrow I'm doing something else; not more paperwork. Matsumoto can do the paperwork tomorrow,' he decided.

'Captain? What am I doing tomorrow,' asked a voice from the door. 'You shouldn't be working in the dark,' Matsumoto continued as she illuminated the room.

'You'll be doing the paperwork tomorrow. I'm having the day free from the tedious stuff,' Toshiro told her.

Matsumoto's face fell. 'I had plans for tomorrow,' she said plaintively.

'Change them. If I have to read another requisition form I might start eating them. If I have to write one more word of explanation I'll make a hang glider from the rest of the paperwork and jump off the Senzaiku Shi-Shinro with it trying to fly,' Toshiro said.

'That sounds like fun, Captain. May I join you?' Matsumoto said.

'I wasn't serious. Where were you anyway? I thought you were supposed to be helping me with this,' Toshiro replied, anger in his tone.

'I had that meeting. I'm sure I mentioned it to you earlier, Captain. The Shinigami's Women's association meeting,' Matsumoto's eyes glowed with remembered enjoyment of the meeting.

Toshiro made a face. 'And what momentous decision was made this time? There should be more female Captains? Or did you decided to try a new shade of lip gloss? Or maybe you will now part your hair differently, or wear something even more revealing,' he said as he indicated her cleavage.

The enjoyment in Matsumoto's eyes was replaced with anger. 'I don't tell you how to dress, Captain.'

'A good thing too. I'm the Captain,' he said, the steel in his voice was unyielding.

Matsumoto turned her back to Toshiro. 'I had thought of asking you if you wanted to share a meal tonight. If you're in that mood, I don't want your company,' she said over her shoulder as she began to walk out the door.

'I didn't dismiss you, Assistant Captain,' Toshiro said.

She swung around to face him. 'Why are you so grouchy? You're acting like a grumpy old man,' Matsumoto observed. Her face expressed concern, mixed with a flush of anger. She appeared to search Toshiro with her eyes, trying to find the reason for his behaviour.

Toshiro's eyes fell under that clear look. 'I'm sick of paperwork,' he grumbled.

'You volunteered to take on the extra paperwork for 5th Division because Momo is unwell. I told you it was too much. You've also been helping the vice-Captains' of Division 3 and Division 9. You should insist they do more of the work,' she said gently.

'Or you could help me more,' he continued grumbling.

'Captain. May I say something to you as a friend, not just as your Assistant Captain?' she asked, her eyes requesting his agreement.

Toshiro scratched his chin with his thumb, observing her. 'Okay. As a friend,' he eventually agreed.

'I think you need a night off. It's a very good idea that you don't do any paperwork tomorrow. It's obviously taking up all your time. It's making you grumpy and not very pleasant company. I was pleased and surprised when you suggested going hang gliding, but you weren't serious. When was the last time you had any fun?' she asked.

Toshiro gaped at her. 'Fun?'

'From that response, I would say it's a very long time since you had fun. I'm pretty sure you haven't relaxed since the ryoka came to Seireitei. That's not good for you, Captain. You need time to forget about the responsibilities and just live for the moment,' Matsumoto argued.

Toshiro frowned at her. 'I'm not like you Matsumoto. I don't just live for pleasure. I take my responsibilities seriously,' he began. She should understand that it was only proper that he honour the position he held.

'You take your responsibilities too seriously. You hardly laugh at my jokes anymore. I'm beginning to think that you've lost your sense of humour,' Matsumoto suggested.

'I have not,' Toshiro replied with a touch of anger. He hadn't lost his sense of humour. He'd laughed at something only recently; if only he could remember what it was?

'A few weeks ago you would have laughed at that comment. Well, maybe not laughed but at least smiled. Now you're reacting like I've insulted you.'

'You did.'

'Of course I did. You should have insulted me in return, not lost your temper. Captain, come with me. We can snack it you don't feel like a big meal. I know just the place to go,' Matsumoto urged.

Toshiro considered her suggestion. He looked at the pile of paperwork and frowned in distaste. He didn't want to remain in his office. He'd hardly left it all day. When he thought about it, he hadn't eaten and his stomach was making frantic attempts to remind him of its empty state. It rumbled loudly. Toshiro tried to pretend it didn't happen.

'I think you are hungry, Captain, or you've eaten too much. I think your stomach is reminding you that you have not eaten today. Come, eat with me. You don't have to stay long,' she said persuasively. She tossed her hair back over her shoulders and looked coquettishly at her Captain.

'You know those looks don't work on me,' he said.

'You never know when you might become susceptible, Captain,' she smiled.

Toshiro rubbed his head. 'Okay, I'll come eat with you, but none of that weird food you like. I'll choose what I eat and don't tell me what you are eating. I want to be able to finish my meal without feeling nauseous.'

Matsumoto made a little moue of displeasure at his comment. 'You're being no fun, again.'

'Why do I have to be fun? What's all the emphasis on fun?' Toshiro asked grumpily.

'I like fun. It breaks the routine. I'm tired of all the dour looks, secret meetings, fear and distrust. It's like a miasma is hanging over Seireitei. You're too young to frown as much as you do. You should play more,' Matsumoto replied.

'Play? What happens if I don't have fun on this excursion of yours?'

'I promise you that you will have fun,' Matsumoto said.

A smiled passed across Toshiro's face. 'I'll make a deal with you. If I have fun tonight, neither of us will do paperwork tomorrow. If I don't have fun, you'll do the paperwork tomorrow, and I'll do something else.'

Matsumoto arched her brows in a mini-frown. 'You will have fun,' she insisted.

'If you are so sure, then accept the bargain,' Toshiro stated.

'What will you do tomorrow?' Matsumoto enquired.

Toshiro thought for a moment. He had trouble focusing on something he wanted to do, rather than something he felt he had to do. 'I'll go for a walk, maybe do a bit of fishing. Read.'

'You're a wild man, Captain,' Matsumoto observed dryly. 'Read? Walk? Fish? I think you've been sitting behind a desk far too long. Let's go before you make even more exciting plans.'

She left the room and Toshiro followed.

'I like different things to you,' he protested. 'I enjoy them. Just because it doesn't involve drinking, shopping or flirting doesn't mean it's not fun.'

'I find other things fun,' Matsumoto said, obviously stung by Toshiro's comments.

'I don't want to know,' he said quickly, worried about the pleasures she might name.

'Captain, you always think the worst of me. I was thinking of gossiping with friends, and drinking hot chocolate and sleeping…,' she insisted.

'No more. Please, I don't want to know. I'll try to have fun tonight,' Toshiro said desperately.

'Maybe you should keep your mind out of the gutter, Captain.'

'My mind was not in the gutter. You just expect other people to be preoccupied with the things you enjoy. I'm not,' Toshiro said stiffly.

By this time they were walking toward an area of Seireitei that Toshiro did not normally visit. Full night had set in. The humidity remained, though some of the heat had gone with the setting of the sun. Toshiro wiped the perspiration off his face.

'Is it far?' he asked.

'Not too far. Just a little way further,' Matsumoto replied quickly. She increased her walking pace.

He saw the lights outside a building and stopped. Immediately he recognised the sort of fun Matsumoto had in mind. 'I'm not going in,' he said after he read the sign.

'What's the problem?'

'I don't want to do this. It's not right for me. I have to think of my position,' Toshiro said sternly.

'Haven't you done this before?' Matsumoto asked the disbelief clear in her voice.

Toshiro flushed. 'That's none of your business. I don't ask you personal questions.'

'Yes you do. I cannot see how you have a problem with this, Captain. I've seen many of the other Captains here. No one minds,' Matsumoto said.

Toshiro folded his arms and shook his head. 'I'm not like the other Captains. I won't do this.'

'You don't have to take part. You can just watch,' Matsumoto suggested.

'That doesn't appeal to me either. I'm not a voyeur. I'd find it embarrassing to watch,' Toshiro said loudly.

'If you're not going to watch, then you should take part. Are you scared, Captain? I'll be with you. There's nothing to be worried about,' Matsumoto assured him.

'That thought makes it worse. I'm going home. We won't mention this again. I'll see you in my office tomorrow,' Toshiro said as he turned to walk away.

'I never thought my Captain was scared of anything. Just wait until I make the report to the next Shinigami Woman's Association meeting,' Matsumoto purred.

Toshiro spun around to face her. 'You wouldn't!' he exclaimed.

She smiled at him with satisfaction. 'Of course I wouldn't. Not on purpose. It might just slip out accidentally.'

Toshiro bit his thumb nail. What should he do? If he didn't go into the building, Matsumoto would tell everyone he was scared. If he did go into the building, other people would see him. They would know. He couldn't decide which outcome was worse.

As he stood there, torn and hesitating, he heard another shinigami approaching.

'Hey, Ran. Going in? Should be good tonight,' he heard Captain Kyoraku say. 'Oh, sorry, Captain Hitsugaya. I didn't see you there. I haven't seen you here before. Are you coming in?'

Toshiro sighed. There really wasn't much choice.

'Yeah, I suppose,' he replied.

'Great. Let's play together. I didn't know you were interested in ten-pin bowling,' Captain Kyoraku said, holding the door open.

With a feeling of unease, Toshiro entered the building. 'I'm not keen on the shoes,' he lied, remembering what he'd heard someone say about bowling.

Matsumoto insisted on helping him find his shoes and pick the right ball.

'We're lucky. Shunsui plays for fun. I'm not too keen when I'm matched with Captain Fong. She really plays to win,' Matsumoto commented quietly to Toshiro.

'We need a fourth player,' Captain Kyoraku decided. 'Nanao didn't want to bowl today.'

'Don't ask Zaraki,' Matsumoto said quickly. 'Remember what happened last time.'

'I thought we were supposed to be eating,' Toshiro complained.

'We usually bowl first and eat afterward. It won't take long. Maybe I'll ask Nemu. She's looking a little lost,' Captain Kyoraku decided.

He walked across and returned with the Assistant Captain of 12th Division.

'Are we ready? We have lane 7 today. Let's do this,' Matsumoto said after the exchange of greetings was completed.

Toshiro was a little uncomfortable. He had never bowled before, but did not want to admit his ignorance. It would be too embarrassing. Instead he elected to bowl last, so he could watch how the others played.

Matsumoto was good, managing to hit all the pins first time, Toshiro noticed. Nemu was nearly as good. The other Captain played it for laughs, not really caring how many pins he knocked down. When it came to his turn, Toshiro walked to the lane with his ball firmly grasped in his hands. Holding the ball, he swung his arm back, preparing to let go once it came forward, only to feel the ball slip off his fingers in the wrong direction.

Feeling his face go red, he turned around to see if he'd accidentally hit anyone. Fortunately the ball hadn't hurt anyone, but all the shinigami in the place were looking at him. Some were smiling; others were trying not to smile.

'It slipped,' he said, moving to retrieve the ball, which had rolled under a table. He had to crawl underneath and emerged even more embarrassed.

'Um, the alley is the other way,' Matsumoto said, obviously trying not to laugh.

'It slipped,' Toshiro repeated. Not concentrating very well, due to his embarrassment, he almost threw the ball at the pins. The ball bounced heavily, a few times before going down a gutter.

Toshiro closed his eyes. This was not going well. Why had he listened to Matsumoto? He walked back to the others his eyes on the floor. Retrieving his ball he tried again. This time he managed to knock over one pin.

'I'm not having fun. I could leave now,' he thought.

'You've never done this before, have you Captain Hitsugaya?' asked Captain Kyoraku.

'What makes you say that?' Toshiro demanded.

'Just a feeling I have.'

'Be nice, Shunsui. Nemu, could you help my Captain, please? He never listens to me,' Matsumoto requested.

'I never listen to you because your ideas are bad, like this one,' Toshiro said.

'It's alright, Captain. It's really quite easy,' Nemu said quietly. 'You just have to focus. Visualise the pins falling.' She demonstrated.

Watching her closely, Toshiro began to see how it could be done. Maybe he would keep trying. He didn't want Matsumoto to know she was better at this than he was.

Half an hour later, the game was over.

'You learnt surprisingly quickly, Captain,' Matsumoto said.

'You beat me, Captain,' Captain Kyoraku said.

'But you never really try, Shunsui. You just play to amuse yourself,' Matsumoto said.

'Thank you for the game, but I must return to my division,' Nemu said.

'I hope to play with you again. Thanks for your help,' Toshiro said to Nemu, smiling.

'Captain, I think there's something wrong with your face. You seem to be smiling,' Matsumoto teased. 'Does that mean you had fun?'

'No. I didn't enjoy this at all,' Toshiro said to her after carefully rearranging his features.

'There, Captain. I think you found your sense of humour again,' Matsumoto said loudly.

'Keep it down, will you?' Toshiro said. 'Anyway, I'm hungry. I thought we were supposed to eat.'

After a few minutes of trading insults, the two Captains and Assistant Captain entered the dining area.

'I feel like some tempura,' Toshiro said.

'They don't sell tempura here,' Captain Kyoraku said.

'What about some yakatori?'

'No yakatori, either. This place only serves Western style food. You could have a hot dog,' Matsumoto suggested.

'Don't be disgusting. I don't eat dog. I didn't think Westerners did, either,' Toshiro said indignantly.

'It's not real dog, though I have no idea what's in it,' Matsumoto replied.

'Nor do I and I've never asked. Have some chips. You'll like those,' Captain Kyoraku said.

'I think he should try some chicken nuggets.'

'That sounds disgusting too. Is there any food that doesn't sound indecent?' Toshiro demanded.

'Sandwiches are out then, I'd say,' Captain Kyoraku said considering the matter.

'Captain, I have idea. You sit at the table and we'll order a few different things. You can try them to see if you like them and we'll wait until you've finished before we tell you what they're called,' Matsumoto suggested.

Toshiro looked at her suspiciously. Was she treating him like a child? He shrugged and went to sit down. He looked at the illuminated menu above the service area. The names of the food seemed very peculiar. Hopefully it was edible. The food smelt good and his stomach rumbled convincingly.

'What is gravy? I wish they just had something simple. A bowl of noodles with some onion and chicken would be nice,' he thought.

Matsumoto and Captain Kyoraku brought over a tray of food.

Toshiro looked at is disbelievingly. 'Are you sure this is edible?' he asked.

Matsumoto pushed a packet containing long yellow things toward him and a drink. 'Try these.'

Toshiro dubiously picked up one of the items she indicated and bit into it. It was pretty tasteless, except for the salt on the outside, but it was edible. He ate a few more, enjoying the crunchy texture.

'It's a bit like tempura, without the flavour,' he commented.

Captain Kyoraku pushed a plate in front of Toshiro. On it was a round pastry object. 'Try this,' he urged.

Toshiro picked up the hot pastry and bit into it. The combination of meat and pastry was odd.

'You really should put some of this on it,' Matsumoto said as she poured some red sauce on the food.

Toshiro took another bite. The sauce made it nicer, but her preferred buns. He finished the pastry and ate some more of the yellow things. Meanwhile his companions were eating other items.

'Can I try some of that?' Toshiro asked pointing to what Matsumoto was eating. It was something inside some bread.

Matsumoto shrugged and cut off an end, putting it on his plate.

As Toshiro picked it up and bit into it, he realised that this was really weird. It had red and yellow sauce squirted on it with some onions and a sort of red sausage inside bread. He wasn't sure he liked it, but Matsumoto seemed to be enjoying it.

'You must try some of this,' said his fellow captain,' passing him a cylindrical brown object.

Toshiro looked at it distastefully. 'I'm not sure about this,' he said as he bit through the outer casing. Inside was a sludgy mixture of cabbage and beef. 'I don't like that very much. Do Westerners really eat this sort of stuff? It seems peculiar to me,' he commented, finishing the yellow things and leaving the other food alone. At least he wasn't so hungry anymore.

'They don't eat this sort of food all the time. Are you still hungry, Captain?' Matsumoto asked.

'A little. Why, is there something else for me to try? Something sweet?' Toshiro asked hopefully.

A cake was placed in front of him. He ate it quickly. It was the best part of the meal.

He sipped the drink. It was cold and sweet. After the humidity and the salty yellow things, it was very welcome. As he drank, he watched the other two talking as they ate. Matsumoto seemed happy.

'Do you want to know what you ate?' Matsumoto said, observing his gaze.

'Yes. Why not?' Toshiro said.

'The yellow things are chips, made out of potato. The pastry was a meat pie. You also ate some of my hot dog and you hated the spring roll' Matsumoto explained.

Toshiro made a face. 'I didn't like the hot dog very much, either,' he said. 'The cake was good.'

'So, Captain. Did you have fun?' asked Captain Kyoraku.

'Yes,' Toshiro replied without thinking.

'That gets you out of the paperwork tomorrow, Ran,' the other Captain said.

She smiled. 'It doesn't matter. I'm just pleased to see you smile again, Captain,' she said to Toshio.

'In that case you can do the paperwork, tomorrow,' Toshiro said quickly.

'Not likely, Captain. I'm sleeping in and shopping tomorrow. You agreed if you had fun tonight, I could have the day off,' Matsumoto responded.

'The day off paperwork, not work,' Toshiro objected.

'Same thing to me,' Matsumoto almost sang.

Toshiro stood shaking his head. I'll see you in a days' time in the office. You will help me with the paperwork. Thank you for your company tonight, Captain.'

'I think you should call me Shunsui after this, don't you,' the elder Captain said smiling.

'Only it you call me Toshiro. You, Matsumoto will continue to call me Captain,' Toshiro said.

'Of course, Captain,' Matsumoto replied demurely.

Toshiro walked out of the bowling alley. 'That was fun,' he thought. 'And tomorrow: a day without paperwork. Maybe I'll have a workout, get the kinks out of my back and shoulders,' he thought as he wandered home.

* * *

**Author's note:**

I apologise for the delay in the update.

As you may have noticed I have set this story to complete. At present I am uncertain as to when I will have the time, or inspiration to write another chapter. If inspiration strikes, of course I will update.

Thank you to the people who have read and reviewed. I hope you enjoyed this story.

Please review.


	7. Gin

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Gin Ichimaru**

"I'm hacked off, Aizen. I'm fed up with this place. Everyone's so serious and there's no one to tease, no women, except the arrancars' and I wouldn't call them women. Ugly and repelling, I'd call them that. You wouldn't let me bring Rangiku, here when I asked. No one wants to play cards; all they talk about is the great god Aizen, and how they want to go to the human world and absorb reiatsu, or they talk about killing all the shinigami. They're so boring I'm almost out of my mind with boredom. At least in Seireitei I had people to tease, sex and decent grub. Why the hell are we here? Why the hell am I here? You promised power and all I've got in return for following you is to watch you sitting on a throne. Power? Nuh. Prestige? I'm just a subordinate. You give Ulquiorra more power than me." Gin was pacing in front of Aizen's throne, anger radiating off him in sparks. His mouth did not wear his habitual smile and Aizen watched him complacently.

"If you hadn't made me all those promises I could still be there. Why in the name of common sense did I listen to you in the first place? Cunning tempter. You knew exactly how to get me on side and now I'm here with no other place to go, you ignore me. You're always concentrating on those mutated hollows and Tosen is no effing help. He constantly talks about justice and his way. I'd like to get him out of my way, permanently. I hate the righteous, blind, son of a b... gun. And you keep telling me to moderate my language. Why for f… Hell's sake? Your precious arrancar curse all the time; so why do I have to keep my language clean? Do you think anyone gives a damn? Do you? Do the arrancar?" Gin continued his rant, kicking anything is his way. He was scowling.

"Is something troubling you, Gin?" Aizen asked lazily. "I don't think I've seen you like this before. Can I help?"

Gin stopped pacing long enough to glare at Aizen. "Stop being so bloody patronizing, you sodding git; haven't you been listening to me? I want out."

Aizen smiled at Gin. The smile curved his lips but did not reach his eyes. "I stopped listening to you 10 minutes ago. Why should I listen to you raving on about a choice you freely made? Which is the major problem? Sex, food or boredom?"

"All of them. It ticks me off that you haven't been listening or you'd know. The food here is swill, no, worse than swill. I wouldn't give it to a pig. I'm sure the arrancar have no taste buds. No taste buds, bloody ugly and bloody tedious or too damned proud. Grimmjow is arrogant scum who wants to be you, or at least take my place"

"And you want me to do what exactly, Gin? Reprimand Grimmjow? Return to Seireitei? Say it was all a misunderstanding? Let you return to Seireitei? You'd be executed as a traitor as soon as you arrived, all three of us would. My plan is coming to fruition and you want me to abandon it because you're bored? In a few short weeks I will obtain the ultimate power and you want to crawl back to your comfort zone. Get over it, Gin." Aizen yawned loudly, not bothering to cover his mouth.

Gin paused, looking at Aizen in a calculating manner. All the other attempts he had previously made to make Aizen allow him to go to the human world, had failed. In a last ditch effort he thought that anger might prove convincing, as he never allowed people to witness his anger. It seemed like a weakness to admit to rage. When he'd started talking to Aizen this time, at first he'd pretended to be angry, but the more he talked, the angrier he had become and all to no avail. He should have remembered how Aizen liked to play on people's emotions and he seemed to be enjoying the display of anger. Gin thought for a few minutes. What might affect Aizen? Was there anything the selfish, self styled king wanted? Gin let his habitual smile curve his mouth as he reigned in his temper.

"Don't you miss buns? The sweet buns with coconut? Sushi, freshly made? Beer? Women? Don't you get sick of the adulation and flattery?" As he spoke the last words, Gin realised he'd made another tactical error. Aizen loved adulation and flattery. They were indications of power. "Remember the taste of fresh peaches? Bread: hot out of the oven; ramen."

Aizen was looking over Gin's shoulder as if considering his request. He appeared disinterested in his subordinates' desire and a small smile played around his lips as he ran his hands over the arms of his throne. "What is it you really want, Gin? If you want food from the human world, I can arrange that. I'll send some arrancar…"

Gin interrupted forcefully. "How would they get anything? No one can see them and they'd probably just grab some garbage. I want to go. I told you, they have no taste and I need a break from this place." Gin swallowed, realising he'd revealed his desire. He pasted the permanent grin back on his face, knowing Aizen would refuse.

"So the truth is finally revealed. You want to visit the human world for food, sex and entertainment. Do you think Matsumoto Rangiku is there? Is that why you want to visit, to see your former lover? She's in Seireitei, Gin; you won't be able to see her." Aizen's smile grew wider as he spoke to his former vice-captain. He took pleasure in reminding Gin that he had forced his hand and when he made him renounce Ran.

"You've let the arrancar go to the human world. Hell, some of the idiots have gone without your permission." Gin protested feebly.

"And many of them died. So then, why are you asking me? What do you require?" Aizen contemplated the man standing in front of him with a tinge of interest.

"If I go to the human world, I need a gigai. I can't go to Urahara for one, can I? He pretends he doesn't take sides, but he does. I know you have some gigai in reserve. Loan me one and money, I need money as well. I can't buy food without it." Gin was tired of the game. He was trying honesty for a change but found he didn't like the taste of truth in his mouth.

There was silence in the room after Gin made his request. He avoided looking at Aizen and instead gazed at the walls. The room was bleak, but Aizen seemed to like it that way. The cold austerity of the throne room suited him well, as it complemented his demeanour and his true nature.

Gin had hoped to get a message to Ran to meet him in the human world. He resented the fact that Aizen had ordered him to estrange Ran while still in Seireitei. Aizen had explained that any ties with other shinigami were dangerous and Gin must be free in order to act as the situation demanded. Ran was a needless complication and dangerous. When Aizen mentioned that he thought Ran had too much power over Gin, it was hard to prevent the laughter that the comment provoked. It was obvious that Aizen did not like the competition. He was demanding complete, unswerving loyalty from Gin; and Ran was one of the bargaining chips.

The promise from Aizen, that Ran would be invited to join them once the plan had been realised, was never honoured. Each time Gin mentioned it Aizen turned the conversation to another matter, or dismissed him lightly. Looking back, Gin realised he had been foolish to believe that promise: it was as false as the kindly Captain Aizen persona. Again Gin cursed himself for so quickly believing what he wanted to believe, instead of examining the fabric of the promise to glean any possible lies.

"Here's the deal, assistant captain. You may go to the human world to buy food and drink, but I will accompany you. I feel that I need to assess the situation, see the town that will be obliterated in pursuit of our goal. We might also find something that will alleviate some of your boredom while we're there. Some books perhaps on how to cope with lost love." Aizen grinned maliciously at Gin, awaiting his reaction.

Gin was unpleasantly shocked by the compromise. There would be no point in trying to send a message to Ran, not if Aizen would be there. He kept the smile on his face so Aizen would not take pleasure in his disappointment.

"Okay, if that's what you want. When can we go?" Gin maintained close control over his voice to make it seem as if he was still intent on the visit, although his interest had almost completely vanished.

Aizen looked at the ceiling as if the answer was written there. "Tomorrow, we'll go tomorrow. Should we ask Tosen, he might enjoy an outing?"

"I don't care." Realising that Aizen was again trying to provoke a strong reaction from him, Gin answered carelessly.

"It might be better if I leave him here. He can make certain no other stupid, pointless expeditions take place. See you tomorrow, Gin, early. We'll only be there for the day." He smiled silkily at the former captain. "Maybe we should look up our little ryoka friends."

Gin shrugged. He didn't want to see the kids again and knew Aizen was just trying to needle him and he'd given him enough amusement today. Recognising the dismissal, he left the room and wandered back to his room. A few arrancar bowed as they passed him and he ignored them. Looking at them bored him.

Reaching his room, he stretched out on his bed. His plan had failed, and succeeded at the same time. In all his plans he had still not managed to think of a method of contacting Ran. One plan had been to throw himself on Urahara's mercy and ask him to make the contact. It was only ever an amorphous idea, one that would never become reality. Why would Urahara help him?

Closing his eyes, he pictured Ran's face smiling at him. The small mole near her mouth, her large clear eyes and the auburn hair framing her face. Briefly he allowed himself to remember the last sight he had of her, the last time she'd touched him, as she held him prisoner. Even at the end, there was misunderstanding, deceit and the pain of loss. With that memory, Gin finally acknowledged that even if he contacted Ran, it was unlikely she would wish to see him. Her sense of honour would be offended and he had no excuse to offer her that she would accept.

He may as well try to enjoy whatever tomorrow had to offer. The promised excursion was more immediate than the future that Aizen contemplated. Even if Aizen obtained his goal and gained the 'ultimate power', Gin wondered what would be his portion of the spoils.

The next morning when Aizen knocked at his door, Gin was waiting, attempting to summon enthusiasm at the planned outing. At least he would be able to taste real food again and he planned to buy some snacks to bring back to the arrancar stronghold. It would be some time before he would be permitted to return to the human world again, if ever.

"How are we going to arrive without anyone noticing? People notice when you rip a bloody great hole in the sky." Gin had been thinking about that.

"Any shinigami will also notice our reiatsu if we're not careful. I designed these gigai specifically to mask spirit energy. I thought we'd arrive just before dawn, when people won't notice the sky." Gin wondered if Aizen had been planning this before he even mentioned it. "Follow me, and we'll get into the gigai." He moved swiftly and Gin followed keeping pace with him.

It felt strange to be confined to a body that mimicked flesh. It seemed to contain him, but release him also. The clothing that the gigai wore was strange as well. The pants, jeans they were called, did not provide as much comfort as his uniform and the shirt was a strange green colour. He wasn't sure if he liked green, but it didn't matter. No one he knew would see him and it was only for a day. He grabbed a pair of sunglasses and put them on. His observation of humans was that they would stare at anything slightly unusual, and he knew his eyes would be considered different so it was best to conceal them.

Following Aizen to the hole he'd made in the sky, he didn't understand what he was feeling, maybe relief to be leaving the dull and unwelcoming home he no longer wished to inhabit, or a faint hope that he would be able to send a message to Ran. Entering the human world, Gin noticed they were in a park and he breathed in the scents of the city before the sun rose in the sky, while he wondered what Aizen really had planned. It was unlikely that he had agreed to come to the human world just to indulge Gin's whim. The planning, the gigai and the amount of cash Aizen had available all seemed strange, unless this had been a long term plan. Looking at the horizon, he wondered if Urahara had noticed the disruption to the sky, or if he was still asleep. Shivering slightly at the drop in temperature, that was normal just before the sun rose, he looked at Aizen.

Aizen's gigai was wearing a very nice suit, with polished shoes. It was typical. Gin got the jeans and the strange shirt and Aizen got the suit, but he hadn't expected more. He went and sat on the bench anticipating that they would stay in the park until the shops opened.

"Why are you sitting down, Gin? I thought you wanted some real food." Aizen smiled at Gin, the mocking smile that crossed his features too regularly since they had moved to Huerto Menco.

"It's early and not many places will be open. I thought we would wait here." Gin was not sure what Aizen was talking about.

"I thought we'd grab a coffee at one of the fast food places. I miss coffee, tea is good, but coffee is better and gives more of a buzz. Let's get a coffee." There was an unexpected tone of longing in Aizen's voice that made Gin look at his one-time captain in wonderment.

"You like coffee?" Surprise at the revelation, made Gin ask the question.

"Of course I like coffee: rich, dark black coffee without milk but with a spoonful of chocolate dissolved into the depths. I won't get the chocolate at the fast food place, but I can have the coffee. While we're here I want to buy enough coffee to last months and some good quality 60 or 70 cacao chocolate." As he spoke, Aizen sniffed the air as if trying to locate a place that sold coffee. "Over there. Come on, Gin," Aizen walked off with speed.

Gin got to his feet and began to follow. Who would have thought that Aizen had such a basic weakness? He had once thought Aizen could be fixated on buns, but now realised that the buns were a poor substitute for the desire for coffee. Wandering through the park as the sky lightened above them, and the sun rose sleepily above the huddle of houses, the chorus of morning birdsong assaulted his ears. He was unused to the noise and his hands moved instinctively to protect his hearing from the din, but stopped when Aizen gave him a piercing look.

Shrugging and humming quietly to himself to block out the racket, Gin gave his usual bland smile to Aizen hoping to convince the man that nothing was wrong. Aizen set off with quick purposeful strides toward a fast food franchise, determination and anticipation in his posture and Gin followed lazily. Coffee was okay, but he liked coffee that wasn't mass produced and bitter from sitting too long. Brightening somewhat when he saw the place where Aizen was headed, he remembered that this franchise sold doughnuts. He'd only tried them once before, but had liked the soft fried dough covered with icing. Maybe he would buy some to take back, but he didn't want to make all the decisions, yet. They had the whole day ahead and he knew that this visit would probably not be repeated.

Aizen quickened his pace even more as they grew closer, and was pushing the door open while Gin was still waiting to cross the road. After being delayed by the early morning traffic, he entered the shop and noticed Aizen was already seated, sipping a steaming cup of coffee, with a look of enjoyment on his face. Gin observed that Aizen had only bought one cup for himself and a doughnut, which he was dipping into the coffee. Realising he wasn't surprised, Gin bought a coffee and doughnut and went to sit opposite Aizen who had drunk nearly half his coffee by this time. Taking off his sunglasses, he placed them on the table.

"You should have bought me another cup, Gin," Aizen said accusingly. He wiped the crumbs from his face with the back of his hand and gulped the rest of the contents in his cup.

Gin raised an eyebrow at Aizen in response to the complaint, but didn't bother replying, as he bit into the doughnut. It tasted very good, sweet, soft with the subtle caramel flavour. Originally he'd thought he'd buy a chocolate one, but changed his mind.

Going to the counter, Aizen bought two more cups of coffee and returned to the table, ignoring Gin in his total concentration of the beverage. Tasting his coffee, Gin made a face. The coffee was bitter and needed sweetening. Looking for the sugar, he noticed many empty sugar packets in front of his companion. It made sense: if he liked chocolate dissolved in his coffee, he would want sugar, but he'd used up all the packets on the table. Sighing, Gin turned and grabbed some sugar from the empty table behind them. Putting them on the table he had to move fast to prevent Aizen from taking all of the sugar for his third cup. Ignoring the muttered exclamation, Aizen was dreamily sipping his coffee, looking out through the window at the footpath outside. Workers were emerging from the train station and buses as they busily carried out their daily existence, unaware that the man who planned their destruction was among them, drinking coffee. Gin wondered when they would move on. Much as he had enjoyed the doughnut, there were many things he wanted to try and buy before they had to return, if he had the chance. Thinking about it, he realised they would probably return at night when the rip in the sky would be less noticeable.

He looked up and noticed there was a clock which displayed the time. Casting his mind back, he comprehended that he did not know what time they had arrived, but it was now 8.00 am. The shops he wanted to visit wouldn't be open yet, but he didn't want to remain where they were. He noticed they were receiving some curious glances from the other patrons. For a second, he wondered if it was the colour of his shirt that was the cause of the interest, then he saw his sunglasses sitting next to his empty cup. He replaced them and tried to school his mouth into a straight line, instead of the regular smile. After a few more curious glances after he donned the sunglasses, he was relieved to notice that most of the other patrons were collecting their belongings and moving out of the shop, obviously headed to work.

Aizen went and bought more coffees and this time, Gin seized a cup when he returned to the table.

"I wanted that coffee, Gin." Aizen's voice was commanding.

"Too bad. I don't want to stay here all day watching you drink coffee." Gin retrieved some more sugar from the empty table and gave some to Aizen. Making a face at the bitter coffee, he drank it anyway to pass the time.

"You want to buy chocolate and coffee. I imagine you'll want sugar as well. What else did you want to buy?" Gin was curious about the other possible purchases that his former captain would make.

A slow smile spread over Aizen's face as he thought about the question. For once the smile reached his eyes and he looked genuinely happy. "Buns, fruit, cake, sake. We have to go to some specialty shops and a supermarket. I think we may need to buy some bags to carry the stuff and it might be an idea to rent a locker to store our purchases until we're ready to leave. I don't want to feel burdened all day. "

Gin nodded in agreement as he listened to Aizen's suggestions. Again he was struck by the idea that Aizen had planned this visit for some time and had brought him along simply to help carry the purchases. It didn't matter, the whole purpose of the visit had been warped by Aizen's insistence that he accompany Gin and he knew that Aizen would be keeping a keen eye on him all day to ensure that he didn't try to contact Ran. Time was passing: according to the clock it was now 9.00 am.

Finishing their coffee, they left the shop and stood outside, looking up and down the street to see what shops were close by that might sell some of the items they desired. Uttering an exclamation of pleasure, Aizen walked swiftly down the street. Following, Gin saw what had attracted Aizen's attention, a shop selling chocolate. Once again, Aizen did not wait and Gin entered to find Aizen engaged in a discussion with the person behind the counter.

"Try this, Sir. I think you might enjoy the blend of coffee and chocolate," the shop assistant said, proffering a platter containing a small offering of chocolate. The chocolate vanished as Aizen began to savour the flavour. From the expression on his face, Gin knew that this chocolate would be purchased, no matter the cost.

For the next 30 minutes Aizen tasted the chocolates offered by the sales assistant and made his decisions. Gin was allowed an occasional taste, but Aizen was not interested in his former assistant captain's input. The number of small bags, boxes and blocks of chocolate being purchased increased and Gin was pleased that he would not have to carry them around all day. Looking at the prices he was astonished at the costs of the sweets. Although the chocolate was nice, was it really worth the amount of money being charged? Hesitatingly he cleared his throat to mention it to Aizen, but noting the complete absorption in his face decided to leave it, for now. He could mention it later, when he wanted to tease Aizen.

Finally Aizen finished, paid the total amount owing and indicated to Gin that he should carry half the bags. Hefting the bags, it was obvious that obsession was a mild word for the passion Aizen had for chocolate. Leaving the shop in search of a place to store the chocolate, he wondered if the supermarket would provide another opportunity for Aizen to purchase even more.

Leading the way to the train station, Aizen and selected a large locker in which they placed the chocolate. "Good," he said complacently once the locker was closed. "Good quality chocolate is not always easy to obtain. I will allow you to choose the next place we visit, Gin."

The announcement surprised Gin. He was pleased that the sunglasses hid his eyes from the scrutiny of Aizen and he struggled to keep his expression as normal. Given the choice he was unable to decide what appealed to him. "I think we should leave the supermarket for last, as that's probably where we'll buy the most. I wouldn't mind some books," he mentioned casually and noticed the perplexed look crossing Aizen's face. "I told you, I'm bored and want something to read. I saw a shop nearby."

Leaving the lockers, they ascended the stairs. Reading was not the pastime Gin enjoyed most of all, but it was better than having to listen to the arrancar. Entering the shop he quickly became distracted with longing for a complete set of _The Golden Lotus_. He hefted the books in his hand and reasoned that they could go into the locker. Greedily, browsing the other books, he found more that appealed to his taste. He'd always enjoyed Chinese erotic fiction and this shop carried the full selection. Wondering how he could carry the books, he noticed baskets near the door and seizing one, he placed the books within. They wouldn't cost as much as the chocolates Aizen bought, he reasoned and began to add anything that seemed to have any appeal. Fantasy, horror, crime, historical, examples of these genres and more were added until the basket was nearly too heavy to lift.

Meanwhile, Aizen had also been busy and he too had a full basket of books. Going to pay for them, Gin noted that they had selected many of the same titles.

"Two copies of the same book is ridiculous, Aizen. Put yours back," Gin suggested.

"I don't like to share. You put yours back." Aizen was not going to concede.

After a heated exchange, they reached an unsatisfactory agreement and returned some of the duplicates, but both retained their copies of _The Golden Lotus_. While replacing the books both traitors found further books to purchase.

Staggering slightly under the weight of the books they quickly returned to the locker and added them to the original purchases. Looking at the time, Gin was startled to realise that they had spent at least an hour selecting books as the time was now 10.30.

"Coffee. I must find a place that sells coffee beans, good quality ones. I don't wish to rely upon the uncertain quality beans that are sold in supermarkets. I'll buy some of those as well, but I require the superior beans also, for my personal use." Aizen had a look on his face that brooked no discussion or dissension.

Wandering into another street, there were more shops, but no specialty coffee shops. Aizen frowned and quickly walked to the next street. The smell of freshly ground coffee was evident and without a backward glance to check his companion was following, Aizen eagerly entered the shop.

"This is becoming tedious. Does he never wait for me, unless it's to carry his purchases?" Gin mused to himself as he followed.

This shop was busy and Aizen was waiting impatiently to be assisted. His whole demeanour was intent on coffee and it seemed strange to Gin to see this man, normally in control, so focused on something apparently trivial. A few customers left and Aizen was served. The next hour bored Gin more than the arrancar, as Aizen insisted on sampling nearly every blend and every type of bean. The more coffee he drank, the more animated Aizen became and the more coffee he bought. Gin sat down and gazed moodily at the shelves, thinking lazily about Seireitei. Staring out the window he watched the town inhabitants walk past, futilely hoping for a glimpse of auburn hair, a hint of Ran.

Movement alerted Gin to the indications of departure and made him awake from the semi-somnolent state into which he had lapsed, only to be disappointed as Aizen realised he needed a coffee maker, which meant deep discussion as to which was the best method and the special grinder he would need for the beans. A further 15 minutes finally saw the end of the coffee shopping and Gin, almost gratefully carried the purchases away from the shop. The first locker was full and Aizen rented another.

"What about lunch? Can we have lunch now?" Gin stopped, not wishing to provoke Aizen into a postponement.

"Lunch? I remember you mentioned ramen, and I'd like that. I'm sure we passed a ramen restaurant when we were looking for the coffee beans."

"When **you** were looking for the coffee beans you mean," Gin muttered to himself. Aizen either did not hear him, or decided to ignore his comment.

They were fortunate in arriving at the restaurant, just before the lunchtime crowd had taken all the available seats. Gin inhaled deeply, eager to eat his fill of the food for which he had longed. Ordering was easy and the food came speedily. Ignoring Aizen, Gin allowed his taste buds to savour the savoury noodle dish. It took some minutes before he realised Aizen was talking to him.

"I don't think we should stay much longer. These gigai can only shield our reiatsu for a set period and we have two more hours left, I believe." Smiling smugly at Gin he added, "I don't think there'll be time for your other request. It would place too much strain on the gigai. You've had your food and bought your entertainment." Awaiting a response, Aizen signalled to the waiter for more tea.

Feeling somewhat comforted by the food, Gin did not feel surprise that there would be no intimate fraternisation with the humans. Half-fulfilled promises and partially granted requests were now what he expected from Aizen. When he'd said he wanted sex, he meant sex with Ran, not some stray human. "Fine with me, I probably wouldn't find what I want anyway."

The smile on Aizen's face froze slightly and he raised an eyebrow at Gin. "Ah, yes, that obsession you have with the assistant captain of 10th Division. I don't think anyone caters for tastes that specific. You should content yourself with what's available, but not now."

After paying the bill they left and Aizen immediately headed in a direction they had not yet traversed. From the expression on his face, it appeared that he had a destination in mind. Following the man, Gin saw passers-by glance at Aizen and look away almost immediately, as if afraid to catch his attention. Some would then gaze at Gin's mouth and almost smile in return, but then stop as they saw the dark glasses. These humans were strange. Paying attention to the people around him meant that Gin was not really watching where they were going until he noticed they were outside a supermarket.

"More chocolate and coffee, I suppose. Oh, this one sells alcohol, too. Maybe I should stock up on some. None of that imported muck, just some good sake and beer," Gin thought as they passed through the doors.

'Get a cart, Gin, we'll need two." Aizen barked the order at his former subordinate as if expecting immediate compliance.

"How are we going to carry all this stuff, Aizen? I mean I don't think we'll be able to carry what we've already bought." Gin was peeved at Aizen's tone and decided he may as well nettle the man.

"Don't question me. I have it planned." Aizen shut his mouth firmly, grabbed a cart and commenced filling it haphazardly with anything that seemed to attract him. As Gin had guessed, chocolate and coffee featured frequently.

"Yeah, you have it planned, but you don't tell me the plans. It's great that we have such a supportive and sharing relationship," Gin muttered under his breath. Deciding to disregard Aizen he began to select items that interested him. The alcohol of course, snacks, plenty of snacks and easy to prepare meals to supplement the rubbish that was called food in Huerto Menco, and a couple of other things that seemed designed to help pass the time.

For a moment he was torn between a DS and a PSP, but decided to get both and lots of games, Aizen was paying after all. He'd keep them secret, not wishing to share them with anyone.

As they traversed the last aisle, Gin noticed a young woman with long auburn hair. As she turned to face him, for a moment she reminded him of Ran and he caught his breath, but quickly realised it wasn't his love, but the girl seemed somewhat familiar. She noticed him looking at her and her lips began to stretch into a smile, but then a cloud of concern passed over her face and she frowned. Gin suddenly remembered who she was; she'd been with that kid, Ichigo when they'd confronted each other at the gate to Seireitei. He couldn't remember her name.

He quickly went up to Aizen and hissed in his ear, "One of the ryoka is here. I think we'd better go before we find trouble on our tail."

Aizen looked up from the packet he was reading and looked at the girl, lazily. "Pretty little thing, isn't she? I'm not too troubled, time's nearly up anyway." He nodded to the girl as they walked past and she nearly returned the nod, then looked even more confused and almost spoke.

After paying the hefty bill for the two loaded carts, Aizen led the way out of the shop, still pushing his.

"I don't think we're meant to take these." Gin wondered why he was suddenly interested in rules. The sight of the girl had put him off centre and he wanted to think of the inconsequential.

"It doesn't matter. We'll use these to get everything back home. I told you I had it planned," Aizen replied without turning around. He ignored the strange glances people gave him as he continued to move through the streets toward where they had stored the other purchases.

Soon they were back in the park, and Gin quickly opened the passage back 'home'. Pushing the carts through, he wondered if anyone had noticed. He felt a measure of reluctance in leaving the town, and hoped that he would be allowed to return once more, before Aizen sacrificed the humans in his plan. He really wanted some more doughnuts.

_

* * *

__Author's note:_

_The Golden Lotus_ is an erotic Chinese novel about the sexual exploits of a woman named Golden Lotus.

It's true that Gin is never shown as being angry and I wondered what that would be like, hence the beginning of this story. I became interested in Gin and wondered why he appears so little in the arrancar arc manga, as he is very interesting character. Tosen does not concern me as much because, as a character, he does not interest me as much. (I suppose I'll hear from Tosen supporters, pointing out the error of my ways. )). Perhaps it's the Matsumoto angle, the deceit, the eyes or the smile that is causing my brief fascination with Gin.

A few things in this story are silly, for example Gin buying a PSP and a DS to relieve boredom. I found the idea amusing that Gin would buy these and I had this strange mental picture of him swearing as he struggles with some of peculiarities of the games. Don't bother to tell me that they're not sold in supermarkets, because I have been in some very large supermarkets where they seem to sell everything, including game platforms. I won't enter into a discussion about electricity and recharging the games in Huerto Menco.

There may be another chapter added to this story in the future, depending on inspiration, time etc. I may have mentioned before that I write this story for fun, sometimes just to explore an idea and sometimes to just escape from the other stories I write. This is my escapism from writing (now that just doesn't make sense, but how often do I make sense?).

As always, please review. (Not that many people review this story. Ah, well such is life.)

MS


	8. Byakuya

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Byakuya **

There had been no question in Byakuya's mind that the meeting would take place in his house. It was too important to be conducted in his office as he wanted to impress his guest and the best place to do that was at home where he was the ultimate authority. He had instructed the servants to observe all the niceties, treat the visitor with formality and respect. Instead of choosing the largest and most formal room, it seemed a better idea to entertain his brother Captain in the library. He'd always expressed an interest in the selection of manuscripts held by the Kuchiki family and he might be so overwhelmed by having his wish fulfilled that they could have an honest conversation eschewing all the normal dissembling, but retaining the dignity that should be displayed by Captains.

Checking his reflection, Byakuya was satisfied that he looked like the distinguished head of a noble house. His hair clamps were in place and the scarf was draped with more formality than usual. For a moment he let a smile quirk the corner of his mouth as he remembered Hisana teasing him about how he looked without the clamps restraining his hair. She always had taken great pleasure in removing them and then placing them in her own hair before she imitated him. Her imitations made him forget his dignity for a few minutes as he enjoyed her antics. Those occasions had been too rare, consumed as she was by trying to find the sister she had deserted and her regular episodes of ill health. Recent events had changed his world completely, forcing him to reassess his life, but he still clung to the appearance and formality that had steadied him most of his years. Even though all might be chaos underneath, the façade of impenetrable calm and stern judgement could not be abandoned as he had schooled himself to maintain this all his adult life.

He remembered how surprised the kitchen staff had appeared at his entry into the domain he usually ignored. Adding to this surprise was the astonishment when he had personally instructed the staff in the food he wished prepared. A range of snacks that encompassed the foods he believed most fortifying and tasty. As for the tea he had in reserve the strengthening herbal tea that he believed might restore his guest. He had begun developing the tea while Hisana was ill, trying to find a combination of herbs that would alleviate her suffering and restore some strength to her weakened frame, but she had died too soon before he perfected the blend. In her memory he had honoured his unspoken commitment and finished his work on the tea. Until the changes wrought on his life by recent events he would never have considered sharing this tea with anyone, no matter their need. It was a shock to recognise how insular his life had been and how much time he had spent on thinking about the honour of his family rather than how to make things fun.

Rukia had tried to make things fun, but all the instruction on how to behave in a manner appropriate for a member of a noble house quietened her. Too often he had felt she was in need of a reprimand. Her eager smile that she often wore when he requested her company would dim quickly and she would leave, subdued. Sometimes he had expected her to argue with him, but on those occasions he would notice she opened her mouth to respond, then flush hotly and bow demurely as she agreed with his instructions. Originally he had not expected her to be cowed so easily, with her background and the time she had spent trying to survive the bad streets of Soul Society. He had been pleased she had cut her ties with the people she had known from that time, only to be unpleasantly shocked when it had been imparted to him that Renji had been her companion throughout her childhood.

Much had changed when she returned from the human world and escaped death. Now she had become firm friends with his assistant captain, again and he would often find Renji sitting outside under a tree talking to his sister. Today he had firmly impressed on the man that he was not to visit that afternoon.

That was not the only change. Rukia seemed happier, and had begun to tease her brother slightly. It was gentle teasing and he found he preferred this new relationship to the cowed, silent girl who seemed scared of him.

Walking sedately to the library, he sat on his favourite chair and drew the book he was reading toward him. Rukia had insisted he read it, saying he needed to understand that the human world had changed considerably. It was a strange book that she had given him, full of pictures. She had called it a manga and told him that he had to read all the books in the series. So far he had finished three volumes of '_The Jade Hermitage' _and the book had changed his view of the human world considerably. If human's acted like that, he didn't desire to visit them regularly. Often he would resolve that he would stop reading the books, but then find he wanted to know what happened next and would guiltily read until he was interrupted. He had another book; an annotated history on the Kuchiki family ready at all times to slip over the top of the trash Rukia wanted him to read. He could not have guessed that such stories would be addictive.

His guest was late and Byakuya was feeling a slight pang of appetite. Busy with work he had ignored the lunch brought to him by Renji. It had not been to his taste. Pancakes filled with sweet bean paste and buns were not his normal fare. There was a suspicion in his mind that Rukia had requested that Renji provide that lunch as she was constantly trying to encourage him to try new food and he resisted. He already knew what he found palatable. Why should he try meals that would probably be less pleasing?

For the first time that hour, Byakuya was uncertain of the action he should take. Food could be ordered now, but it would be correct protocol to wait until his guest arrived. His guest was late. It was now 10 minutes past the appointed time and it was slightly insulting that that the person who had requested the meeting was the one who was delayed.

He heard the quiet shuffle of feet that stopped outside his door it door slid open smoothly. Quickly sliding the family history to conceal the shaming manga, he rose to his feet as he bowed his head slightly at his guest. "Captain Ukitake, I am honoured that you grace my home with your presence. Please seat yourself comfortably and I will have tea served."

The Captain did not look at Byakuya, his eyes surveying the books lining the walls, his expression incredulous. "I had heard the Kuchiki collection was impressive, but I can see that the reports do not do justice to the reality." He walked to one shelf and rested his finger on one of the scrolls with reverence. "The rumoured 2nd volume by Sun Tzu: _The Art of Peace_. I thought this book was a legend, a fantasy but here it is, in your collection. And here, a commentary on the non existence of the Gods that was banned. I thought every copy of this pamphlet was burned in both Soul Society and the human world. An early version of _The Tale of the Genji, _without the later revisions. Captain Kuchiki, this brief glance at your collection has impressed me more than I can voice. Would it be at all possible for me to borrow any of these volumes?" The man's face was alight with excitement and he was almost trembling. He sent a beseeching look at the custodian of the books, but his face fell when he saw the expression of the other.

"Unfortunately, no," Byakuya was being honest. "As I am sure you can appreciate, these manuscripts are far too valuable for anyone to be permitted to remove them from here." A cool dignity descended over the other Captain as he tried to hide his regret. "However, I would be privileged if you would visit to read these works when you can spare the time."

The tension which had been growing in the room was rapidly dispelled and Jushiro smiled, his normal sweet and gentle smile. "I would be grateful for the opportunity. I will be certain to only take up your kind offer when it is convenient."

Byakuya bowed his head again, slightly. The first hurdle had been overcome and now was the time for more delicate negotiation. The door opened and the food he had ordered was rapidly placed on tables. Walking over to the water he had boiling on a small stove, the noble captain poured the right quantity into the teapot and gestured to the servants to depart. He did not wish this conversation to be overheard, even by the staff of his house.

"That tea has an unusual scent, Cap… Byakuya. It smells most refreshing." The captain was now seated at the desk, his hand inches from the manga that had been hidden. It was unfortunate that he chose to sit there, but it would be bad manners to request that he move.

"I trust you will enjoy it. I must let it steep for a few minutes so that the full flavour is released. While you wait, why not sample some of the humble food that has been served." He knew the food was not humble, but it was the correct form to denigrate what was offered.

"This is a feast, not some simple snacks to accompany tea. I can feel my mouth hungering to try all that is offered," was the appreciative response. He selected a small savoury rice ball and bit into it. "Very tasty and an unusual flavour."

"It contains fresh ginseng. That is probably why you find it unusual. Fresh ginseng has a very different flavour and is more effective against certain disorders if consumed newly picked," the 6th Division Captain explained, his voice containing no inflection, trying not to betray his pleasure at the small praise.

Judging that the correct amount of time had passed, Byakuya poured the tea, enjoying the aroma of the fragrant brew. "Please, indulge me by partaking of this beverage. I blended the tea myself."

He was pleased to see that Ukitake did not expect that comment or attention. The Captain's eyes widened and he drew a handkerchief from his sleeve as if expecting a coughing fit. Byakuya quickly placed the tea in front of him, hoping that the steam would provide some respite. Inhaling painfully Ukitake seemed to struggle for breath for a moment and then his face relaxed. Picking up the delicate porcelain cup he sipped the tea with appreciation. Again Captain Ukitake's expression betrayed him as he sipped the tea and then sipped it again with obvious pleasure.

"Byakuya, this tea, I have not tasted it's like before. It alone convinces me that it is a unique blend and one which I approve. I could almost imagine it is alleviating some of the symptoms of my condition, but that is a foolish hope." Jushiro laughed gently at his expressed hope. He seemed brighter since drinking the tea.

"It should," Byakuya said. "My love, my Hisana, suffered a similar disease, as you may remember, and I was perfecting this tea to help prolong her life. I created it for her but she died before I could complete my work. In her memory I continued to study the properties of medicinal herbs and endeavoured to make progress, all the time thinking of her. Only recently I finished my work and thought you might benefit from the tea."

"For the third time you astound me. It is not possible for me to express my gratitude at this example of consideration. But before we continue the discussion and relax into the pleasant conversation I believe we could share, I asked this meeting for a reason. Would you prefer to investigate that matter with no further delay?" Captain Ukitake looked more alert and his breathing had eased even more.

Byakuya felt his spine stiffen but did not betray his discomfort by so much as a gentle movement. He knew the purpose of this visit and he felt at a disadvantage at his subtle manoeuvring being discovered or perhaps it was not subtle to one such as Ukitake. "I am aware you wished to speak to me."

"And you promptly issued an invitation to tea at your family house in the library you knew I wished to see. You are determined that this will play out the way you wish, but I will have my answer. Oh, don't raise your eyebrow at me like that Byakuya, you knew this day would come," his eyes were as clear as his intention to receive his answer.

"I may have expected this day would arrive, but it does not mean I welcome it," was the reply delivered through tight lips. He had felt no qualms about what he had done because it was the right thing to do. The only issue was his actions had been discovered and now he had to explain that which he did not wish to explain.

"Why did you manoeuvre your sister into the situation where her abilities were not recognised?" The gentleness of the voice belied the strength of the question.

Biting his lip, Byakuya looked down at his hands and noticed that he had clenched his fists. His knuckles showed white against his hands as he fought his first response. It was paramount that he answered the question without emotion, without betraying his honour. "I did not believe that it would be correct for my sister to be placed in a position of responsibility before she had learnt the correct model of behaviour. It was to protect her from the difficulties and resentment she might face," that was part of the reason.

The 13th Division Captain sipped his tea again. 'I must again commend you for this tea. A delicious brew, served in such a fragile cup that enhances the experience. Could I trouble you for some more?"

Byakuya served more tea and refreshed the water boiling on the small stove in preparation for making a fresh infusion.

"If that was your reason, then I can understand. Rukia was freed from the rigours of graduating from the Academy and it is true that caused a certain amount of resentment, but additionally her adoption into your house caused bitterness. Yet, you overlook the probability that if her true abilities had been recognised and the correct ranking accorded her, she may have also been granted some respect. If you wished to conceal her abilities, why did you not accept her into your Division?" The game was now underway. The questions, the answers, both men working toward the complete revelation, or a partial concealment.

"Rukia is not suited to the 6th Division. It would have been incorrect and an indication of nepotism if I had accepted her. She is better suited to serving under you." Yet another partial truth slipped past Byakuya's lips with ease.

"Nepotism? I see."

"I also believed that your late assistant captain would provide the support and encouragement Rukia required. I could not think of any other man, aside from yourself, who would be able to assist my sister is developing her abilities. I never told you before, but I regret assistant captain Shiba's loss," it was the first time he acknowledged this particular truth aloud. Rukia had managed to almost find her place in the 13th Division but the sudden death of the assistant captain had forced an estrangement between the Division and Rukia. Sometimes he thought it might have been easier for her if he had insisted that she be moved, but which Division would have been appropriate? More importantly would another Division accept her?

"Yes, it becomes clearer now. You hoped that Kaien would protect and guide her while his wife provided a role model. He was a good choice, but as you have stated, he died and she was left friendless and guilty. I considered interceding, but that would have only produced more resentment. Your sister has faced many difficulties and I think it is time that we recognise her abilities. I would like her to accept one of my empty seats. Due to all the difficulties mentioned I cannot place her in 4th seat, yet. I thought somewhere in the top ten would be appropriate?" Placing his elbow on the book in front of him, Jushiro cupped his chin in his hand and contemplated the dark haired man in front of him.

The statement ended as a question and Byakuya found he was nodding in answer. "It is time. I will not try to dissuade you from this action. She reminds me of her sister and I clung to that, forgetting other matters. My attempts to protect Rukia only placed her in jeopardy," a small rueful smile curved his lips.

"I think I will pry no further," as he spoke Jushiro's elbow slipped and the annotated history of the Kuchiki family slid across the table, revealing the manga hidden underneath.

Inwardly Byakuya groaned as his reading matter being seen by another person. It would be difficult to explain why the book was on his table and open at a particularly embarrassing scene. Captain Ukitake picked up the book and rapidly turned through the pages. "I liked this part, when Marianne actually had enough nerve to steal the box from Francoise. It made me laugh," was the unexpected remark.

"You know _The Jade Hermitage_?" the 6th Division Captain tried to keep the incredulity out of his voice.

"Of course I do. I imagine you are only reading it because Rukia insisted, as she also insisted that I read it so I could better understand humans. If humans act like this normally I think I will limit my visits to their world," a large smile crossed Jushiro's face.

"Those are exactly my thoughts. I feel that perhaps the story is a little melodramatic but it is quite intriguing," the shared confession allowed both men to relax. "May I offer you more tea?" He poured hot water into the fresh pot as he spoke.

"If you would be so kind. Let us discuss other matters while I sample this extraordinary feast you have caused to be prepared? Will Rukia be joining us later?"

"I believe so. You may wish to delay the announcement of her promotion until this war is over but I will not try to advise you on that matter. However, I will insist you drink the tea and eat. The food should have similar health giving properties as the tea and I can arrange that the recipes for all are provided to your cook so they can be prepared on a regular basis," was the offer Byakuya made.

"I accept with gratitude," Jushiro said as he began to eat delicately.

"Brother…Oh, hello Captain. I didn't expect to see you here," starting loudly and then diminishing in volume Rukia opened the door and was speaking as she surveyed the room.

"You're just in time for fresh tea, sister. Please display your social manners and join us. Your captain had just revealed that he has also been forcibly encouraged to read those books you had delivered from the human world," the amusement in his tone made Rukia grin.

"They're fun, aren't they? Cake; you remembered my favourite cake, brother," Rukia said moving swiftly toward the desired treat.

"Not cake first, Rukia. Remember your lessons and act with decorum," was the gentle reminder, with a spark of steel underlying the words.

The conversation became general as they snacked on the refreshments until all had been consumed and it was time for Captain Ukitake to leave.

The discussion was to have far reaching repercussions.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

There, finally I updated. Sorry to anyone who has been desperately waiting for an update (is there anyone?) but Byakuya presented a few problems. _Snack Time_ chapters do not conform to any length, they finish where they must. I hope you enjoyed this one.

_The Jade Hermitage_ is mentioned in Volume 1 of Bleach as the manga that Rukia is reading. I looked it up on the 'net but couldn't find any reference. It struck me as very unlikely that Byakuya would read manga, but I thought it was funny. There is no such book _as The Art of Peace_ by Su Tzu, the author of _The Art of War_.

As to whether there will be another chapter in the future, I cannot say. Maybe. I would like to write one about Orihime but haven't managed to find inspiration as yet.

While writing this I became addicted to the song '_24'_ by Jem. Check it out, it's good as is another of her songs, '_They'_. As usual the songs to which I listened influenced my writing.

Please review.

MS


	9. One for Peter, Two for Paul

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**One for Peter, Two for Paul**

_In the published manga, volume 25 there are side drawings (omake?) where Yachiru gives out 'special' soul candy to Shinigami who are leaving on the human world mission. These have different personalities which don't work out terribly well. 'Bruce' is a coward, 'Momone's' effect is censored as the gigai becomes 'frisky' and 'King' is stupid and makes Toshiro's gigai sit in a garbage bin. There are other characters which aren't mentioned for reasons of brevity. This chapter was inspired in part by these drawings._

**Warning: Slightly questionable situations and allusions**.

"What is the big, important secret meeting about?" Yoruichi asked, and then yawned, her pink tongue protruding over her sharp, pointed teeth. She stretched and yawned again and then blinked curiously at Urahara. "You promised snacks, so it must be important."

The man stood, leaning against the door way, his back facing her as he gazed into the street. "If I tell you, it won't be a surprise, will it?" His tone was measured and showed little in the way of intonation as if he were trying to hide his emotions. She'd heard that tone too often for her curiosity to be even slightly dispelled. He wanted her to show interest and be driven to question him while he could hold onto his feeling of superiority for, ooh, seconds.

Winding herself between his legs, her tail held stiffly over her back she tried to elicit a caress, but he just grumbled and shuffled into a different position. That was unusual. Using her claws she climbed up his coat and settled on his shoulder, her face pushed close to his ear. "Tell me, Kisuke, otherwise I'll find new business to occupy me," she hissed in his ear.

His hand reached and scratched her under the chin. Once more she wondered why these attentions were so welcome while she was a cat, but when in human form she detested regular close contact for long periods. An hour was the maximum she could tolerate, but as a cat, the longer she was petted, the more she enjoyed it. She loved being scratched under the chin and found she was purring, all the while resenting the intuitive behaviour.

"But Yoruichi," he purred back at her as her eyes closed in enjoyment, "You hate being involved in my schemes, or so you tell me. Now be a good kitty and change into your magnificent female figure and put on some clothes. Our guests are due to arrive."

He stopped scratching and patted at her gently, trying to dislodge her from his shoulder. Snarling under her breath she leapt to the floor and sidled out of the room into the bathroom. Changing back and then donning her clothes took a matter of minutes but she preferred to do this through choice, not at another's behest. "Why do I listen to that man? I was planning to spend the whole day as a cat. Catch up on some important cat naps and snoozing and maybe a long leisurely doze in a beam of sunlight and now I have to act like a human. He owes me, once more. I wonder what I will insist on as payment this time."

Giving a brief look in the mirror she admired the fall of her hair, held back off her face and the slanted eyes. She'd been told regularly of her beauty by men while she was in human form. It was true, she was an appealing woman but she was also a very beautiful cat and it was easier to go unremarked in that shape. She had a sneaking suspicion that she was to act as hostess to this group.

Emerging into the shop she saw the doorway blocked by a tall, thickset body. "Here, already, Chad? You're the first to arrive," she heard Kisuke greet him.

"Practice finished early and there was little point in returning home," Chad replied. "It's nice to see you once more, Mr, um Miss Yoruichi." He nodded genially at her and she smiled in return.

His confusion about how to address her always amused her. For too long he had thought her a male talking cat and he appeared to have difficulty in adjusting to her new form and gender. "Just Yoruichi, like normal. Don't ask me what Kisuke is planning, because I don't know. At least, this time, he is providing food," she tried to reassure the boy. He seemed uncomfortable around her and she wondered if Ichigo had blabbed about seeing her naked. It seemed the sort of thing he would do. The boy had no discretion and was easy to shock. That was partly the reason she'd done it twice. It did not argue well for either teenager's sense of humour if they found the thought of her nudity as either embarrassing or something else. They took life and their responsibilities very seriously; sometimes she thought Ichigo took life much more seriously than his father, but then recollected that Isshin was playing a part, very convincingly, as was Kisuke. It was dangerous to hold too much knowledge and for other people to realise that. A little knowledge might be a dangerous thing, but a great amount of knowledge could be potentially fatal.

"Who else did you include in this invitation?" she demanded of her former subordinate.

Urahara just grinned at her, pulling his hat further over his eyes.

"Why do you insist on being mysterious? I'll find out soon enough." Honestly, the man was trying to exasperate her, that was obvious, but he seemed to enjoy playing this type of pointless games until she was ready to beat him around the head with his torn off arm, a nearby Arrancar or a convenient broom. She didn't care which, as long as it came to hand very soon.

Chad kept giving her furtive looks and she wondered why. He seemed slightly disappointed about something but she couldn't imagine what. After hearing tall tales from Ichigo, surely he didn't expect her to appear naked in front of mixed company. Kisuke was wearing his tired coat, sandals and pyjama clothing as usual. Her attempt to persuade him to change into anything else met with the usual blank stares and air of slight confusion as if he was having difficulty understanding her. Chad was wearing a bright shirt and chinos. Was there a problem with her skin tight pants and shirt?

"Ur, Chad, you might want to move out of the door way so that other people can come in," Urahara prompted the tall teen who was still hovering in the door way. If there was anyone standing behind him, it would not be possible to see them.

"Oh, right," Chad tried to enter the shop, but the shopkeeper was standing in the way. "I don't mean to be impolite, but I cannot enter the shop as you are blocking the way."

"Oh, didn't I mention in the invitation? You can't stay unless you get past me," the ex 12th Division Captain said blithely.

"What?" Chad asked.

"What the hell are you talking about, Kisuke? You don't invite people to visit and then make it conditional on them being able to beat you," but the words faded as she saw Chad pick up the shopkeeper, carry him one or two steps and replace him on his feet.

"I hope you didn't mean I had to fight you," the tall man said heavily. "I will, if you insist, but I was prepared for a social occasion, not a battle."

Smoothing his rumpled clothes Urahara smiled brightly. "No. That's fine. I'm just gauging reactions and seeing how people respond to my little test."

"Do I have to get past you, Kisuke because I have a method which is very effective?" Yoruichi said as an evil smile crept across her face as she flexed her fingers meaningfully.

"Do you turn into a cat to do it?" Chad asked with interest.

That was of course one method, but the one that Yoruichi was considering caused more pain and discomfort to the recipient than a few claw marks in the body as she ran over his clothes. She was pleased to note Kisuke gulp slightly as he noted the gleam in her eye and he shook his head, trying to appear as if he dismissed her suggestion casually.

"There's no need, my dear," he said airily. "I know your strengths and need no further demonstration."

Chad slid his eyes from one to the other, obviously picking up on the undertone in the conversation, but he wisely did not ask for further explanation.

"Yoruichi, my dear, dear, Yoruichi, would you please show Chad the room where I conduct some of my more frivolous experiments," Urahara asked airily, He faltered at the expression on her face and quickly added, "My scientific experiments, I mean."

Tilting her head to one side, she answered innocently, "Where else would I think you meant?" but it was difficult to keep the laughter out of her voice. The man had slipped a few times today. She should pay attention because it was possible that she could use this to her advantage. It never hurt to have the upper hand in their relationship as he had a habit of attempting to slip out of promises, if they no longer appealed to him. It depended on his mood and current interest how he would react to any reminder about previous arrangements and trades.

"Come with me, Chad. Kisuke won't tell me what this is about, nor do I care. It's probably some new stupid idea that Tessai, Jinta and Ururu won't help him with and he's looking for guinea pigs," a slightly furtive move indicated to Yoruichi that she might be correct.

Deciding she'd follow that up later, she took Chad to the room that Tessai had prepared and encouraged him to sit. Though she knew Kisuke expected her to remain with Chad, she returned to watch what happened to the new arrivals.

There was quite a crowd at the shop doorway when she returned. Ikkaku Madarame, Yumichika Ayasegawa, Rangiku Matsumoto and Toshiro Hitsugaya were standing outside the shop. Each had their arms folded across their chests, more or less, and none of them looked happy. Ran's lip was curling with disdain and the green eyes of her captain were icy.

"I'll kiss you," Yumichika offered unhappily, "but only on the cheek. I always knew you had a thing about my beauty, but I thought you would have the good taste to declare it in private." He shot a hard glance at Kisuke, who waved his fan in front of his face in a manner that tried to appear unconcerned, but Yoruichi could see the jerky movements that indicated that the shopkeeper was trying to think of a smart reply.

"You mistake me. I want a kiss from the assistant captain," Kisuke said.

"So, a fifth seat isn't good enough for you," pouted Yumichika as he pressed closer. "Are you being elitist?" He puckered his lips slightly and darted his head at the shopkeeper's cheek.

"Okay, okay, you can enter. You don't have to kiss me," Kisuke stuttered backing away from the doorway before the lips made contact.

Yumichika came closer to the man wearing the hat and as he moved further away from the potential unwanted embrace, all his companions entered the shop.

"But, but, but you were all meant to pass the tests," Kisuke protested. "Not enter because one passed."

"One group, one test," Toshiro said evenly as his cool gaze met the former captain. Yoruichi was pleased she was not the focus of that stare as it brooked no good for the recipient.

"Oh geez, if you're going to be like that I'll kiss you too," Ikkaku said as an evil smile broadened his mouth. "I don't care who I kiss, as long as I get to wash my mouth out with sake afterward."

"I'll only kiss you after I'd drunk sake and beer. Lots of sake and beer," Rangiku said as she shot a glance at Yoruichi. "I believe the former captain of the 2nd Division may object if I sully your lips with mine and she might hurt me." Then she smiled and her eyes sparkled. "Isn't that right, Yoruichi?" She slowly winked at the former captain, smiling wider.

"I think I'd worry about your lips more, Ran," Yoruichi replied with a wink of complete understanding.

"Ah, you're there Yoruichi. It was a joke," Kisuke protested. "Tell them. It was a joke."

Enjoying the embarrassing position that her lover found himself in, Yoruichi decided to continue teasing him. Shaking her head sadly, she answered him in a tone that indicated dismay. "I'm shocked, Kisuke. Demanding kisses from all the people you invited for snacks. Would you have also demanded a kiss from Chad if I hadn't been there? Very well, Yumichika and Ikkaku. As he insisted, I suppose you must kiss him."

The men now stood on either side of the shopkeeper and he glanced hurriedly from one to the other. "I've changed my mind," he said plaintively.

"But you were insisting earlier," Toshiro said. Yoruichi noticed that while he wasn't smiling, his eyes gleamed with humour. Kisuke was going to get more than he anticipated. "Both 10th and 11th Division insist on paying our debts. I hope you don't mind if Madarame substitutes for me."

"It's fine, really," Kisuke said the desperation increasing. "No one has to kiss anyone."

"I must admit, I'd prefer to kiss him than Keigo," Yumichika said thoughtfully as he placed his index finger thoughtfully on his chin. "If I kissed Keigo or his sister, I might never have any peace."

"True, true," Ikkaku agreed. "Okay, Urahara. Let's get this over with."

Urahara began one more protest and then appeared to decide it wasn't worth it. His shoulders slumped and he bowed his head slightly and shut his eyes tightly.

At a sign from Rangiku both men tapped him on the cheek closest to them and backed away. Yoruichi had already got her camera ready and took a few quick photos. She could always pretend to use them for blackmail, later.

"Happy now, Kisuke?" she purred as the man opened his eyes.

"Happy about what?" During the distraction Ichigo, Rukia, Orihime, Uryu and Renji had also entered the shop and Rukia asked the question.

"No, this is all wrong," Kisuke protested. "Only Chad passed the test."

"Does this mean you want Renji to kiss you?" Ikkaku asked with curiosity, obviously deciding that the joke could continue. "I wouldn't like being kissed by Renji, but then I never wanted to kiss Yumichika either. Hey Renji, give Urahara a kiss."

"What!?" Renji reacted badly, the veins standing up on his neck. He moved in a threatening manner toward Kisuke who was shaking his head disbelievingly. "No way in hell am I kissing that pervert. If Yoruichi wants a kiss there's no problem. I'd be more than happy to kiss her, but not that perverted clog wearer."

"I thought you usually wanted the girls to kiss you," Rukia said, batting her eyelashes at the shopkeeper flirtatiously. "I would have been prepared, but now you prefer men, I've changed my mind." She pouted slightly, but then couldn't stop a grin from spreading across her face as she blew Renji a kiss.

"You've got it wrong. I wanted the assistant captain to kiss me," stuttered Urahara, the heat of the moment making him forget that Renji also held that position.

"I've already said I won't kiss you," raged Renji. "Has this man been reading that whacked out manga you like?" he asked Rukia. "I know it goes in for peculiar stuff like this. Forget it. I know you got your brother and captain to read it, but if it has this effect, I won't. I prefer Ichigo's stack of girly magazines."

"Girly magazines!!!" Yumichika and Ikkaku said together looking at Ichigo with renewed respect.

"We'll be over later," Yumichika assured Ichigo, who was looking rather uncomfortable at this reassurance, while Ikkaku thumped him hard on the shoulder. "Get out the best ones because Keigo won't share his; or his sister interrupts and wants to rub Ikkaku's head with baby oil."

"They're not that go… Um aren't we here for some purpose," Toshiro said trying to hide the red that was rising in his cheeks.

"Captain!" Ran seemed delighted at the sign of weakness in her captain. "Dirty magazines after you confiscated my romance novel?? I'm shocked."

"Which book was that Rangiku? Was it the one you were giggling about? You kept talking about physical impossibilities and wouldn't let me read it. You told me it would give me the wrong idea, but about what I don't know," Orihime said, her brow furrowed. She swept her hair over her shoulder and stared at the others with a slight hint of confusion in her eyes.

"That book was much dirtier than the magazines," Ichigo confessed and then realised what he said. "Urgh, I mean, what romance novel? What girly magazines?"

Toshiro shot Ran a guilty look and then tried to assume an expression that he had no idea what she was talking about.

Rukia laughed and looked around the group. She was enjoying the situation as she addressed the substitute Shinigami. "I wondered what you were reading with such rapt attention last night when you thought we were all asleep. You'd put it inside a newspaper so I couldn't see the cover."

Turning to Ikkaku and Yumichika she explained, "Ichigo hid the best magazines. I found them in the closet under all the quilts. You can loan me the novel when you've finished with it," she ordered Ichigo who nodded mulishly as he looked at the wall.

"Ahem." Thinking that this had gone far enough and would only get worse if left unchecked, Yoruichi cleared her throat. "As we are all here, let's get this over with. Some of us have other things we had planned to do today which did not involve looking at questionable literature or kissing unwilling people," she aimed the last taunt at her former subordinate. He had to learn that teasing people could, and often would, lead to unfortunate consequences.

There was a brief silence.

"We'll be over later," Ikkaku assured Ichigo. "Keep your window open. I hate hiding in that light fitting."

Ichigo's eyes were now fixed on the floor and Yoruichi remembered he'd turned that colour when he'd first seen her naked. Maybe he liked going through life embarrassed, otherwise why would he routinely end up in humiliating situations?

She quickly moved toward Ran and spoke quietly so that only Rukia could overhear. "You can loan me the book after Rukia's finished with it. We might swap a few romance novels. Some of them are unintentionally funny, at least I think it's unintentional," she hissed quietly at Ran who raised an eyebrow at Rukia who nodded emphatically.

"I'd be glad to loan it to you, and some others," Ran said smiling. "Who knew the human world contained such 'interesting' items. You must lend me that manga later," she told Rukia.

Gathering together his shredded dignity, Kisuke Urahara threw back his shoulders and said with as much panache as he could muster, "Please follow me."

He walked swiftly to the room and flung open the door. Chad was sitting their with a book in his hands that he was turning from side to side as if he couldn't work out which way it should be read. He looked rather irritated.

For a moment Yoruichi felt her spirits sink. Couldn't they get away from questionable books when she realised what it was the teen was holding. "Can you read Arabic, Chad?" she asked.

"I was trying to work out what the language is," he confessed. "No matter which way I look at it, it makes no sense to me."

"What is it?" asked Ikkaku with a lilt of hope in his voice.

"An Arabic translation of 'The Prince' by Machiavelli," Yoruichi said reclaiming her book. "I can't read it either, but it seemed a strange choice for translation."

"And what's that about?" Ichigo asked hopefully. He gave Renji a meaningful look and received a smirk in return.

"It a treatise on how to rule a country to the benefit of the ruler who doesn't care about his citizens," Yoruichi said briefly watching the expectant look on the two red head male faces die away.

"It's quite good," Orihime said nodding at Yoruichi. "I don't think I could ever be that ruthless."

Uryu nodded in agreement. "I doubt you could. I can see some benefits in many of the suggestions made, but…."

"Give it a break, Uryu. I'm not interested, and I mean I'm REALLY not interested, in your opinion on yet another book," Ichigo said with a great amount of frustration.

"What brought that on?" Yoruichi asked Rukia, but Orihime answered.

"On the way here Uryu was arguing with Ichigo about the interpretation of 'Measure for Measure'. They had a few conflicting beliefs about the true meaning and then Uryu averred it was really about Quincy's," she stopped and bit her lip gently. "I don't think he was serious," she added hastily, as though speaking to prevent another argument.

Before the conversation could take another turn for the worse, Kisuke began urging people to sit down. He offered tea, water and soft drinks to the teens and also offered beer to the adults.

"What, no sake?" Ikkaku demanded with a trace of bitterness in his voice. "After I kissed you?"

Suddenly sake appeared in front of the adults also each had a cup of their own. Yoruichi pressed her lips together to hide the smile that was threatening to spread itself across her face. Ikkaku sat back happily, a bottle of beer in one hand, a cup of sake in the other. Looking down at her tea and her cup of sake, she could have sworn she saw the character for cat written on each, but she blinked and it disappeared. Casting a quick glance at the other drinks again she thought she saw the characters for bald, princess, giant, Quincy and others, but looking again they too had disappeared. She opened her mouth to ask, but Ikkaku was already speaking loudly as he nodded approvingly. As she sipped her tea, the answer seemed to matter less.

"Better. Don't expect another kiss, even a goodbye one," he said after gulping from the contents of both containers. "I've been damned dry since we got here. The Captain was stingy and wouldn't give me an advance on my pay," he grumbled.

"I told him not to," Captain Hitsugaya said severely. "You're here to provide support and fight, not get drunk and brawl."

Ran giggled and nudged her Captain in his ribs. "You mean you can tell the difference? I thought he fought pretty much the same, except he staggers just a little less." The glance she cast at Ikkaku was challenging and she sipped prettily at the small cup of sake she held.

"And you don't drop your zanpakuto," Yumichika fired back; obviously angry on the slight delivered to his friend. "Or giggle much. Or cry about a certain ex-Captain Ichi…"

Ikkaku punched him hard in the side of his head as Renji started arguing loudly with Rukia about how many Hollows he'd killed the day before as opposed to her one. A swift glance at Ran made Rukia join in enthusiastically while Captain Hitsugaya scowled heavily at Yumichika. Urahara quickly placed a plate of pickled vegetables in front of the 10th Division assistant captain and some boiled peanuts.

"Eat, eat," he encouraged, his eyes darting quickly to Yoruichi as if imploring her assistance, but she watched with interest. From past experience she knew Ran could take care of herself, especially after having heard this many times before. The only question was which weapon in her arsenal of words and observations would she use on this occasion?

Rangiku covered her mouth delicately with her hand but her complexion had whitened a little. She stared steadily at Yumichika and then gave him a dangerous smile. "You know, under this light it does look like you have freckles."

Faster than he could blink, Yumichika brought out a small hand mirror he'd had concealed in his sleeve and he began to look at his face with interest born of fear. "Freckles! Freckles would mar my ideal face. Where? Where are these freckles?"

After watching with barely concealed satisfaction for a few seconds she was unable to keep a straight face Rangiku began to laugh, and soon most of the others joined in as Yumichika gradually paid less attention to the mirror.

"Low blow, Matsumoto. But on this occasion I think he deserved it," the 10th Division captain said dryly as a small smiled curved his lips.

After having assured himself that he couldn't see the elusive freckles Yumichika grudgingly nodded at Rangiku. "Are there any freckles?"

Ran shook her head as the smile on her face broadened. "Next time I won't be so discreet. I might remember something I was told to forget."

A bewildered look crossed the 5th seats face and his eyes rolled back in his head, a sign that he was trying to recall what they had discussed. Then he shut his eyes and a minuscule frown creased his forehead. "I didn't mean it. I was joking and you fell for it." He opened one eye and peeped slyly at the woman who was tormenting him.

"Hmmm. A joke you say? Then you won't mind if I tell….."

An irritated voice broke through her revelation. "Why are we here Urahara? You requested our attendance and so far all we seem to be doing is bickering," Captain Hitsugaya had raised an eyebrow at his subordinate who then shrugged but the smile remained on her face.

Kisuke had his fan in front of his mouth within the moment. His eyes glittered slightly and he smiled gently. "I've noticed that the Soul Candy hasn't been getting the positive reception I'd hoped for," he began quietly and slyly.

Ichigo laughed. "I thought Kon was bad but some of the others I've seen make him seem like a sane choice by comparison."

Kisuke looked hurt. "What's wrong with the others?"

Yoruichi knew very well what was wrong with the others. She rarely used the Soul Candy unless she was absolutely certain which personality would inhabit her body. Not for her the Momone, King or Bruce. The others were pretty questionable as well, but she had pressured her 'friend' to develop a special substitute soul who would do all those cleaning jobs she'd been avoiding. He had promised and then kept changing the subject every time she'd mentioned it since.

"I don't like finding my gigai in questionable poses with complete strangers," Rangiku said the smile completely fading from her face. "I'm beginning to get a reputation."

Rukia giggled. She looked ashamed of herself immediately and tried to stop the giggle by holding her breath. Over the space of the next few minutes her face turned an interesting shade of purple and tears formed in the corners of her eyes. Her hands covered her mouth, and she looked almost distressed.

Ikkaku, Yumichika and Renji were avoiding looking at each other. Yumichika was studying his nails with intense concentration while Ikkaku seemed to be rubbing his head to make it even shinier. Meanwhile Renji was looking around the room in desperation, but his gaze kept returning in fascination to Rukia's face. His lips would twitch and an indentation in his cheek indicated he was biting it from within to prevent any words or sounds escaping his mouth.

Orihime nodded in agreement with Rangiku, her eyes wide with compassion. "It really isn't fair. You don't deserve any of the comments I've heard about you. You just have trouble finding clothes to fit you and you're so pretty and friendly."

Ran looked at Orihime, her mouth drooping open. "What comments?"

"The things Ichigo and the others…. Um. I can't remember." Orihime quavered and then turned a deep red as good sense overcame her honesty.

The three male teens dragged their gaze away from the amply displayed cleavage with disappointment. Ichigo made a face at Uryu and Chad. "I told you," he muttered. "She doesn't prefer other guys. It was the stupid candy."

All the time Captain Hitsugaya had his arms folded and his head tilted to one side. "Ah, yes. It took some time to clean my gigai after it sat in the garbage can for hours. The smell was indescribable, not to mention the indignity of finding it there."

The shopkeeper looked slightly apologetic. "They're new. I'm still trying to work out the bugs, but I'm still testing them out. You can't expect to get a replacement soul right on the first attempt."

"You should test them on yourself first so you can see how humiliating they can be," Rangiku stated clearly, her usual gentle gaze growing hard. Obviously the others reactions to her statement had hurt her slightly and she made a vain attempt to cover he chest a little more by draping her scarf differently. She had tried tugging her shirt further over her chest, but the sound of material stretching tightly made her stop before any threads broke.

"He does," Yoruichi's retort was short and sharp and she shot a look at Kisuke who was trying to avoid her gaze. He'd accidentally given her one of the Momone candies, or so he said.

She had resented it when she had returned to find her gigai wrapped adoringly around Kisuke who seemed to be lapping up the attention with enthusiasm. She could sympathise with the embarrassment and anger that accompanied the discovery especially if it was interacting with strangers in that manner. Narrowing her eyes she continued, "You said you were going to develop ones which were more, well, normal."

Kisuke smiled at her teasingly, as if in understanding of what she was thinking. "But I have."

Yoruichi raised an eyebrow in disbelief. She hadn't noticed any proof of experiments and then she had a sudden sinking feeling about this whole afternoon. The group of people, the offer of food, and the fact that Kisuke had not shown his capable nature when confronted with the 'kissing' incident made her aware that this situation had been planned. She almost opened her mouth to encourage the others to leave, now, before any thing happened.

Tessai entered the room bearing a large tray. Jinta followed carrying a slightly smaller tray. Each bore a quantity of plate, bowls and cups containing fragrant objects. The smell was both appetising and comforting at the same time and Yoruichi felt the saliva gather in her mouth the longer she inhaled the deliciously scented steam. Looking around she saw that the food was having the same effect on the other guests, even Toshiro Hitsugaya. He had shed his assumed gruff nature and was eyeing the food as hungrily and with as much anticipation as any of the teenage males in the room.

"What has Kisuke done with the food?" she wondered. "I know Tessai can cook, but normally it doesn't make me this ravenous." She sat down as close to the platters as possible, while grabbing an empty plate.

"Please, eat," Kisuke said gently. As soon as he spoke Yoruichi snatched at the food as did the others. No social niceties were observed as each person grabbed and gorged, hardly tasting the food as it slid down their throats.

Then with an audible pop, Yoruichi found she was out of her gigai. Within a few minutes she was joined by all the others who had been forced out of their bodies, except for Orihime, Chad and Uryu.

They sat there with a dazed look and then Uryu spoke. "Aren't we meant to be playing cards?"

Her eyes hazy Orihime got to her feet. "Yes, cards. Come on Chad. We play cards now."

"Go fish," Chad said and he slurred the words slightly. The three teens seemed to have trouble finding the door and then left the room muttering about card suits and fish and how many points a home run made.

Conned again by the man she had sworn would never blindside her in her life. "Kisuke. What have you done?"

"They're fine, but it's dangerous for humans to use Soul Candy, so I just made sure that they weren't participating. I wanted to try some new souls, and I needed some test subjects. Tessai won't let me use him again and if I take the test myself I'm afraid that my natural bias insists that each replacement soul is the work of a genius. Me, to be exact."

"But my friends..." Ichigo protested.

"Will be fine. They're just having a little nap and they'll dream that we've been playing cards. I knew you'd tell them and they'd insist on following you, so I invited them along as a control group. Nothing will happen to them," Kisuke assured him.

Yoruichi began to be aware that the Souls inhabiting the gigai's and Ichigo's body were now taking over.

"This time I tried to match the personality with the person," Kisuke smiled. "Let's see how they do."

The one wearing Yoruichi's gigai came very close to the shopkeeper. "Kisuke, I want you to scratch my stomach and stroke me. My spine needs to be smoothed. Put your hands on me. Touch me," the creature purred at the man.

"Later," he hissed slightly, making a shooing motion with his hands. Instead 'Yoruichi' cuddled up as close as she could get to the man and began to pat him playfully.

Yumichika's substitute was holding the mirror and blowing kisses at his reflection and alternately waving his fingers at it. "I'm so pretty. NO I'm beautiful. More beautiful than any other Shinigami. They're all jealous of me, I know they are." He glanced at the other and curled him lip in disdain and returned his gaze to his mirror. "I need a larger one of these so I can see my full perfection."

The original Yumichika looked unbelievingly at the gigai. He seemed lost for words. In the meantime, 'Ikkaku' was drinking heavily and talking loudly to Ichigo and Renji. "Wanna fight? Or should we go and find some women? Real, human women. We'll take the sake with us and get some babes and some booze and we can fight on the way. What do ya say?" He kept shrugging off Ran.

The 10 Division Assistant Captain's gigai kept saying, "But I'm a woman. Why are you ignoring me Ikky? Don't you like me any more? You used to like me, didn't you?"

Ran was standing next to her gigai trying to pull it away from Ikkaku who was being embraced, almost unwillingly. As soon as Ikkaku was out of her grasp the soul launched herself at Yumichika who swatted her away with disgust.

"Stop it. Stop it," Ran insisted, almost crying with anger. "Why are you behaving like this?"

"But I want some fun," the Soul said, its eyes wide. "Just a little fun with some friends."

Ran shot a disgusted look at Kisuke. "How's this different to the one I had before? If anything, this one is worse."

"Stop it, all of you. I am in charge here and you should obey me without question," the 10th Captain's substitute was getting into the act now and speaking loudly. "We should be concentrating on how to defeat the Arrancar. Or communing with our zanpakuto's. Or doing something useful," the last comment sounded uncertain and made the Captain appear very young and uncertain.

The 'Ran' gigai threw her arms around her 'Captain' and kissed him full on the mouth. He didn't resist but within a few seconds she had pulled away and was wiping her mouth very closely a look of astonishment on her face. "He stuck his tongue in," she complained loudly. The shocked expression made Yoruichi smile involuntarily.

Hitsugaya flushed and looked at the shopkeeper. "That is so wrong. I think I may need to challenge you so you can learn a little about me."

Meanwhile 'Renji' and 'Ichigo' were having a fight over 'Rukia'. 'Rukia' was sitting there grinning in satisfaction as they began to push each other.

"Rukia's mine. I've known her forever," 'Renji asserted,

"She prefers me," 'Ichigo' said as he punched 'Renji' in the chest.

'No she doesn't. She thinks you're a kid," 'Renji said and pulled Ichigo's ear.

"Not true. She thinks you look weird with those tattoos and stuff. She wonders if you have parts of your body pierced as well," 'Ichigo said and got 'Renji' in a headlock.

Rukia, Ichigo and Renji drew their zanpakuto's at the same time and advanced on the shopkeeper who immediately hid behind Yoruichi. The real Yoruichi moved out of the way angrily. As he'd done this, he should be able to take the consequences. As soon as the threat became obvious all the 'inhabited' gigai placed their bodies in a protective circle around Urahara.

"I thought you might be a little displeased," he explained. "It's just a little insurance in case it didn't work out."

"Kisuke! Stop this now," Yoruichi demanded. She tried to reclaim her gigai only to have it fight back. No substitute soul had the right to fight against the body being reclaimed by its rightful owner.

"The effects will wear off soon. I promise," the man said. "I think I can see where I've gone wrong."

Almost as if prompted by the words, all the gigai collapsed in a heap on the floor.

Without speaking they all claimed their bodies and scrambled back inside eagerly.

"Gone wrong!" exclaimed Rukia when she was fully reunited with her gigai. "When you had this idea. That was where you went wrong. I'm nothing like that. I don't want my friends fighting over me."

"But wouldn't you like a more realistic replacement?" Kisuke blinked in bewilderment.

"Realistic? That was nothing like me," was Renji's protest. "I don't act like a teenager. I'm a man, an assistant captain and that 'personality' was an adolescent brawling for no good reason."

"Yeah. I have to have a reason for brawling," Ichigo agreed nodding. He grinned at Renji. "Just like a certain Assistant Captain I know." He'd obviously decided to return the insult.

"I don't care. I prefer the one that lisps," Ran said. "It's strong and doesn't molest people for no reason. From everyone's reaction, that's how you all think I behave." She seemed to have trouble looking at anyone and hurriedly left the room.

Ikkaku followed her out the door rapidly after giving Kisuke a stern glare. "Creep. As if I'd reject Ran, ever. As if any sane man would."

The silence in the room after he left seemed vibrant with people making assumptions.

"Ran and Ikkaku? Can you imagine……" Renji was the first to voice what everyone was thinking.

"Don't say anything," Yumichika broke in. "What about you and Rukia?"

"What!" Rukia seemed astounded.

Ichigo's Shinigami licence lit up at the same time as Rukia's 'phone' rang. She glanced at it and passed it to the 10th Division Captain whose eyes widened slightly and he handed it back quickly.

"A convenient time for one Hollow to appear," Captain Hitsugaya said his gaze firmly fixed on the shopkeeper. "Fortunately for you, Urahara, there appear to be a number of Hollows. We will have our reckoning later."

Within seconds the room was empty; none of the Shinigami were prepared to leave their gigai unattended in Kisuke's care.

Yoruichi opened her mouth preparing to provide her comments. She was troubled by the events and the number of Hollows that she could feel around them.

"I think we have to help, this time," Kisuke interrupted. He met her gaze levelly and spoke with conviction. "I have nothing to do with this attack, but I think we have to assist."

The feelings she was receiving convinced her that he was correct and she prepared to fight. As she called for Tessai, Ururu and Jinta she didn't see Kisuke uncross the fingers he was holding behind his back.

_

* * *

_

_Author's Note:_

The truth is I have a problem when I write Urahara. I really like the character, but I think he is inherently dishonest. He has certain noble characteristics which are shown over and over again, but I cannot shake the feeling that he's manipulative and has his own agenda.

The title of this chapter comes from an old song adapted by Peter, Paul and Mary about Soul Cake called _A Soalin'_. The full quote is:

'_Soul, Soul, a soul cake!  
I pray thee, good missus, a soul cake!_  
_One for Peter, two for Paul,_  
_three for Him what made us all'_

As this was about Soul Candy it seemed appropriate.

I have one more Snack Time idea which will involve Orihime.

If you've read any of the previous chapters in this series you will know they are primarily written for my amusement. All the same I appreciate reviews.

Please review.

MS


	10. Surprise Halloween

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

_Note: This is dedicated to those readers who requested an Orihime chapter for Snack Time. I hope you like it._

**Surprise Halloween**

"Why are you doing this, Orihime? Are you trying to impress Ichigo, or prove that you can cook 'normal' food?" Tatsuki sounded grumpy as her friend handed her yet another heavy bag to carry.

"My food is normal, Tatsuki. You have never given it a chance because you're so unadventurous, I mean where food is concerned," she amended as a mulish look spread over her friend's face. "I know you're open to new ideas and experiences, except for boys and food."

Sighing, Tatsuki blew the air out through pursed lips. She did not seem happy. "Why mention the two in the one sentence? There's a big difference between boys and food. One we have to have to survive. The other…"

"Makes you fat" Orihime tried to make a joke. If it had been anyone else she would never have dared to even try. In a way she was trying to express how she felt, that Ichigo was necessary for her survival, knowing that he was alive encouraged her to continue living. After her brother died and the problems her parents had caused when trying to make her return to their custody, she had wondered if the struggle was worth it. Only when her aunts and uncles stepped in and offered to support her and allow her to remain where she was did her burden decrease. While she was sad they lived in another province, so she couldn't live within the warmth of a family, it was better than returning to the hell from which her brother had rescued her. And now she was friends with Tatsuki and had her own place, she felt she was beginning to acquire her own 'family' of people she chose to be close to her, rather than those related by blood.

"Only if you get pregnant," Tatsuki said, stretching the joke even further.

Orihime blushed, not expecting that reply. For all the education they'd had about sex and the discussions her girl friends indulged in at lunch time, she still found the topic very embarrassing. It didn't help when Chizuru hugged her close or tried to kiss her. She felt not even the slightest spark of attraction to the girl and found her attention unwelcome, but she was too scared to say anything. Staying close to Tatsuki helped as she diverted most of the unwelcome attention away from Orihime. How could she tell the girl that she didn't like being hugged like that or treated like she was only an object to play with? None of the boys in the school grabbed her and groped her like Chizuru did, because Ichigo scared them off, but he couldn't stop them looking. Once more her mind returned to that desire to jab the girl with a compass or sharpened pencil the next time, but she knew she wouldn't and even if she did, would the lesbian get the message? Her preference wasn't for women or men generally, it all revolved around one special person.

"Honestly girl. It was a joke. Stop taking everything I say seriously, or I'll wonder what other secrets you might be hiding," was Tatsuki's reaction.

"Do you think he'll come?" Orihime asked once more knowing that the mention that she might perform an action could mean that it would later happen. If Tatsuki began to wonder, she might investigate and find out…Find out something Orihime was trying to keep private. Not that it would be easy because she told Tatsuki nearly everything, except those precious secrets that she barely acknowledged. The half realised potential ideas and plans that she never closely examined for fear that any sort of inspection might reveal the flaws.

Tatsuki snorted. "You've invited ten people to a meal but your main interest is if one, only one of them, attends."

But it's for Ichigo's birthday," Orihime stuttered and then flushed guiltily.

Stopping where she was, Tatsuki turned partially around to look at her friend, her eyebrows raised questioningly as her mouth rounded into a surprised 'O'. "You're months late. And why hold it on Halloween? Ichigo's birthday is on the 15th."

"That's the point," Orihime hurriedly added and hoped her friend would believe her. "I wanted it to be a surprise and he would have expected a surprise birthday party on the 15th July, not on Halloween. I'll tell everyone about the birthday part, later."

Tatsuki shook her head and the serious look on her face made Orihime dread what she would say next. "I don't understand. You're so clever except about food and boys," was the casual comment.

"What's wrong with Ichigo?" she said before her brain processed the question.

Tatsuki picked up the bags and continued walking toward Orihime's house, apparently thinking about her answer. "I've known Ichigo since we were both kids," she said.

"I know," Orihime said the usual sting of jealousy present as she was once more reminded of all those wasted years before she'd found Ichigo and fallen in love in an instant.

"He was a wimp when we met," Tatsuki said, looking ahead, her face impassive.

Having heard this before, it was easier to control the quick answer that sprang to her tongue. Instead she said, "Hmmm?"

"If he dyed his hair, it would save him a lot of trouble. Instead, he flaunts it and gets into fights all the time. That's why he became friends with Chad, to help him fight."

If she hadn't been carrying so many bags, Orihime's hands would have flown and touched her own hair. It was hard to be different, or to have such a difference so noticeable and obvious. The main reason she didn't colour her hair was because of a promise she'd made to her brother. "I think you're wrong about Chad," she said instead. "They are friends, but it's in spite of the fighting, not because of it."

"And he hardly notices you, at least not as a girl," Tatsuki continued as if she hadn't heard. "Most of the other boys drool when you walk past but he only notices you when you talk to him, and sometimes not even then."

That was the factor that Orihime had been denying. In the classroom, in the school generally she had almost become used to the intense scrutiny she received from the males. Mostly she tried to block it out, to pretend that most of the boys in the class were trying to undress her with their eyes, or look down the front of her shirt, or up her skirt, or the ones like Keigo who had his eyes constantly fixed on her breasts. Even when she wore a bust minimizer bra, it didn't seem to help. She knew it was only because of Chad, Uryu, Tatsuki and Ichigo that she wasn't subjected to half the male population of the school pressing up against her, or propositioning her every moment of every day. Chizuru was bad enough, but she never took a hint even when delivered as part of a beating. If everyone else noticed, why didn't Ichigo?

"I sometimes wonder if he remembers I'm a girl," Tatsuki mused. "He seems to, but only when his father teases him about me. Usually he treats me like one of the guys. At least most of the time." She stopped talking and Orihime noticed that she seemed to be thinking hard. For some days she'd noticed that her friend was worried about something and had hesitated, wondering if she should ask. Her friend never seemed to worry about asking the difficult questions of her, but that was different. Tatsuki was observant and ready to help.

This time she was going to ask, but ask the question that she'd put off asking so many times. It scared her to think what the answer might be and the consequences of asking, but every time she was with her friend the question was there, always at the side, looming later each time it remained unasked and unsaid. She imagined a small question mark that had grown larger over time with different aspects growing on it. Now it had spiky arms and deep holes had opened up in the body of the question mark. Thorns grew over the surface and it oozed a deep red substance that looked both sticky and toxic. It was no longer a question mark but a festering monster that grew larger and more powerful every time she failed to ask the question. It was only a matter of time before it grew big enough to take over the world of her imagination. Then she wouldn't be able to daydream about Ichigo in class! That couldn't be permitted to happen.

Grabbing at her courage with both her hands she said, "Tatsuki…Can I ask you something? Something important?"

The girl turned to her with a frown firmly planted in the middle of her forehead. "As long as it is not about last nights homework and whether I find Keigo interesting, sure."

Here was her chance. She cleared her throat, swallowed, coughed a little, swallowed hard again and prepared to speak. The fear of the answer made her skin tingle and while she didn't want to ask the question, she knew she must. "Do you like Ichigo?"

Tatsuki's expression didn't change. "Sure."

That wasn't the answer or reaction she expected. Dissatisfied, she tried again. "I mean, I know you like him as a friend, but do you like him as anything more? Have you ever done anything with him?" She felt dreadful about asking the last question, but she wanted everything clear between them. If there was anything more than friendship between Tatsuki and Ichigo she needed to know.

Tatsuki's expression was now frozen on her face. Slowly and deliberately she placed the bags she was carrying on the ground and then standing straight she crossed her arms across her chest. Feeling weak in the knees, Orihime also carefully placed her bags on the ground; awaiting the storm she felt building. Why had she asked the question? All this time she knew to ask would be a mistake and instead of listening to her common sense, she'd permitted her instincts to guide her into what promised to be a confrontation. What would life be like without her friendship?

"Are you asking what I think you're asking?" The voice gave nothing away.

Swallowing hard again, Orihime nodded, not certain she could talk over the fear that was throbbing through her body.

"What do you want to know? If I've kissed Ichigo? Had sex with him? What?"

She couldn't raise her eyes to look at her friend once the questions were asked. Her face flushed and she felt deeply humiliated at her breach in the etiquette of their friendship, but she nodded again. If the answer came back that Ichigo and Tatsuki had slept together what could she do?

"Of course I've kissed Ichigo. I've known the guy forever and once or twice we experimented with kissing, but nothing else…"

As the relief overwhelmed Orihime she felt she could look at her friend and almost missed the rest of what she was saying.

"Ichigo is an idiot where woman are concerned and he's not my type. As for having sex with him, don't make me laugh. He'd be the last guy…." And then as if realising what she was saying, Tatsuki stopped talking, pressing her lips firmly shut.

Did that mean her friend liked someone else? If so, that was wonderful. Not only didn't she have to worry about competing with Tatsuki for Ichigo, but she might be able to match make.

Tatsuki had picked up her bags and was again walking toward Orihime's apartment. Hefting her own supplies she followed walking quickly now that the question which had been weighing her down had now been removed. Having that removed she almost felt she could run up the stairs, but considering the bags she decided it was a bad idea.

"Was he any good?" she asked, her curiosity still unsatisfied.

Tatsuki shrugged, "I don't know. We were about 11 at the time and all I remember was wondering if all kisses were so wet."

11! That was so long ago. They were still children. She felt tempted to question her friend further, but the expression on Tatsuki's face warned her away The image of the distressing question mark shrank, losing all it's additions as it dwindled to nothing. Now she would never have to stay awake, fearful of losing her friendship with the girl who was now entering her apartment.

"Orihime, I don't mean to tell you what to do, but I could help you cook. Make sure that the food is edible."

Used as she was to Tatsuki's attitude to her food, Orihime only smiled and replied carefully to her friend, "You gave me recipes and I'll follow them. Mostly I wanted you to do the decorations. That's why we bought so many pumpkins. After you hollow them out I'll make pumpkin soup," she thought for a moment and sighed. "I did want to make a pumpkin juice drink to keep with the theme, but I don't know if you cook it first or if it's raw?" As she talked, she brightened. "We bought lots of pumpkins. I could do both."

Tatsuki was unpacking the bags. "I think pumpkin soup is a better idea. What about the rest of the food?"

"I've already made the cake," Orihime told her proudly. Opening the fridge she extracted the cake that had taken up many of her evenings with planning. "See. Do you think it's a good likeness?"

Her friend turned to look at the cake and her astonished expression made Orihime feel a sense of pride and achievement. "You made a cake of Ichigo?"

Orihime looked down at the cake and smiled widely. "Only his head. Do you like it?"

"The eyelashes are too long, the eyes are too big and he's smiling. Why didn't you use his normal expression of a scowl?"

Realising that her friend was teasing her she giggled as she replied, "I want him to smile when he sees the cake."

"Uhuh," Tatsuki said as she unloaded the last bag. "Do you have a very sharp knife? If you want me to make something out of these pumpkins it will have to be sharp. And why Halloween anyway? And pumpkins? All this stuff is the American version of the original day. If you wanted to be authentic we should all stay home and pray to whatever god to protect us from the evil spirits, not dress up as them."

Reaching into the right drawer, Orihime located her sharpest knife. It was quite long and she used it often. In answering the question she decided to go for the direct approach. "This is more fun. Have you got your costume ready?"

Pointing to her schoolbag, Tatsuki emulated Ichigo and scowled at her friend. "It's bad enough that it's a Harry Potter themed party, but did you have to tell each person which character they were?"

Astonished at the question Orihime just stared at her friend, her mouth open before she replied. "But everyone would have come as Harry or Hermione. It would have been silly."

"Then why am I Professor McGonagall? Why that old bat?" Tatsuki asked as she took the knife from her friend and began cutting the top off the pumpkin.

Orihime got together the ingredients for the snack she was preparing before she answered and as she was carefully washing the chillies she said, "I couldn't see you as Hermione or anyone else. I like the Professor. She's nice, intelligent and kind."

"And old and wrinkled," Tatsuki had cut open one pumpkin and was scooping out the contents into a bowl she'd found.

"At least you're not one of the nasty characters," Orihime offered unconvincingly. She'd thought her friend might be pleased to be given an intelligent and central character.

"I suppose Ichigo is Harry?"

"Of course. It's his party so he has to be the main character." As she finished washing the chilli's she cut them open and spooned the filling inside. It didn't take long and she put them in the fridge to chill as she began making the meatballs.

"Who are you? Or should I guess. Choo?"

"No. And I won't tell you," she was making the meatballs very quickly and placing them on a tray to put in the oven. "You'll have to wait."

"The party is in two hours and we'll both be changing here. I'll know soon enough. Wait. You're going as Ginny Weasley, aren't you?" Tatsuki had finished hollowing the pumpkins and she brought the bowl of contents to Orihime. She looked at her friend sharply and Orihime blushed.

"Who else could I be?"

"You could have been the professor," Tatsuki said acidly.

They continued to exchange words as they worked. Soon the food was ready and Orihime helped Tatsuki finish the decorations.

At the appointed time, dressed and excited, Orihime waited for the first guest to arrive. As she heard the first knock she opened the door, hoping to see…… Uryu. She couldn't hide the disappointment that spread over her face. Trying to be polite she smiled at him and welcomed him in. "You look good. Where did you get the costume?"

Uryu had a strange look on his face. "Why did you choose this character for me?"

She wondered why he seemed upset. "I like Lupin. And he's a werewolf. I thought you'd be pleased."

Pushing his glasses back on his nose he tried to change his expression but instead looked even more perturbed. "I've never thought of myself as a werewolf," glancing past her he obviously noticed that aside from Orihime and Tatsuki, he was the only guest. "I appear to have arrived early."

"You're punctual. Come in. Have a pumpkin juice or soft drink."

"Water, please."

There was an awkward silence as Orihime gave him the drink. "I should put some music on. I have the soundtrack of the latest Harry Potter movie," she said and proceeded to do something. It was better than nothing.

The next knock had her at the door in a trice and she opened it, her heart in her mouth to see: Rukia, Renji, Urahara and Yoruichi. This time she stretched her lips wide as she searched behind them for the familiar shock of orange hair.

As if noticing the look Rukia said, "Ichigo's coming with Chad. They won't be long."

"Come in. You all look great." Orihime told them as they filed past her. There was a pause and then loud laughter as her guests looked at each other.

"You're Choo?" Tatsuki seemed incredulous as she looked at Yoruichi.

"Don't I look convincing?" The woman smiled, showing her sharp eye teeth.

"Ur, you look great. Really," Tatsuki said. "And I know I don't look wonderful."

Urahara shook his head. "Don't say that to me. I don't think I'm cast correctly. Why am I Ron Weasley?"

Orihime smiled. "I can see you as him. The tie looks good."

"And you can see me as Draco Malfoy?" Renji looked strange with a blond wig perched on his head.

"And me as Moaning Myrtle?" Rukia was rather dour in her comment which matched her appearance perfectly.

Rather than assure everyone that there were reasons, Orihime began serving them the pumpkin soup she'd prepared, adding a little dash of sour cream and paprika. They were small portions and suitable for eating while standing.

"It's fine," assured Tatsuki. "I was here when she made it and there are no strange ingredients."

"Hey, it's not bad," Renji said and began to eat avidly.

The rest of the guests ate the soup as another knock came at the door. Her heart was in her mouth as she opened the door this time. Before she could welcome her guests she was caught in a passionate embrace as Chizuru held her close. "I've always had a thing about Ginny Weasley. I think that she and Hermione are soul mates. That's why you chose me for Hermione, isn't it?"

Tatsuki delivered a quick uppercut and Chizuru quickly released Orihime.

"Ow. Why did you do that?" the bespectacled girl asked, aggrieved.

"Don't grab the hostess. It's bad manners," Rukia said mildly. "Have some soup."

"Do I have to eat soup? It'll get in my beard," whined Keigo.

"Hagrid wouldn't complain," Mizurio assured his friend. "I'm worried about melting my make-up with the heat of the soup though," he laughed.

"But Mizurio…" Keigo was building up to another complaint.

"No names. Remember I am He Who Must Not be Named," Mizurio said as he gratefully took some soup and began sipping.

Tatsuki had given up trying to eat the soup and was sitting on the floor laughing. Uryu lips were twitching hard and soon he began to laugh also.

"You really know how to pick 'em," Renji said as he looked from one guest to another. "Can I have more soup?"

As Orihime served more soup she glanced at the time. Ichigo was over a quarter of an hour late! Would he ever arrive? Trying to calm herself she realised that it did give her time to inform her guests of the other reason for the party.

"Um, could I have some quiet?" she asked, but couldn't make herself heard over the din.

"Shut up everyone," Renji said and everyone seemed to hear.

"I see you've learnt some manners," Yoruichi said.

Urahara cocked and eyebrow and smiled before commenting, "At least he didn't punch anyone."

Steeling herself against speaking to such a large group, Orihime said, "I know I said this is a Halloween party, but it's also a surprise birthday party for Ichigo."

Rukia rolled her eyes and shook her head. "His birthday's in July. Don't you remember the party?"

It was getting tiring being reminded of that fact all the time. Were people so obsessed with dates and facts for some reason? "I remember that party but I wanted to give him a party too and he would have expected a surprise party on his birthday, so this is a real surprise," she explained once more.

Her guests exchanged amused glances and her face flushed.

Tatsuki must have noticed and quickly said, "It's a party and we're going to have fun. Did you organise any games or anything? What about ducking for apples?"

Thankful for the excuse, Orihime rushed to her bathroom and picked up the bucket she had prepared and brought it into the room where Tatsuki had placed a towel. As they were about to commence the game another knock was heard. Taking a deep breath and smoothing first her hair and then her clothes Orihime opened the door to find Chad towering in front of her. Trying to appear as if she wasn't looking past him, her eyes searched frantically for any sign of Ichigo. Meanwhile her guests had crowded behind her and were laughing at Chad's costume.

The long grey hair and beard didn't suit him and the pointed wizard's hat reached above the door.

"I didn't think Dumbledore was that tall," Yoruichi commented. "Nor did he look so young."

Chad remained impassive and nodded at Orihime. "Thank you for inviting me."

She couldn't prevent the desire to ask the question. "Where's Ichigo, I mean Harry?"

'I'm right here, Orihime. Behind Dumbledore." Ichigo emerged from behind Chad and she gasped. His orange hair was now dark, the thick rimmed glassed looked adorable and the way his shirt hung out from his pants charmed her. He'd even drawn a zigzag scar on his forehead. "Are you Ginny?" Ichigo seemed surprised. "I thought you'd want to be Hermione."

Recalling her manners she invited them in and shut the door. Finally her Harry was here and the party could really start. A quick motion set Pink's "Got to Get This Party Started' replaced the soundtrack and she made a decision. "Because we're all wearing makeup, I thought we could dance, but you have to dance with the person you're paired with in Harry Potter." She grabbed the apple bucket and put it away.

Before anyone could choose partners, Yoruichi seized Ichigo and kissed him. The room erupted into cheers, catcalls and startled exclamations. Orihime tried to drag her eyes away from the sight of the object of her affection being kissed by someone else. It must be a bad dream. This couldn't be happening and it almost looked like Ichigo was kissing her back. Tears threatened and she blinked hard many times to try to prevent them from falling. She felt Tatsuki pat her on the shoulder and that made it even more difficult not to cry.

Ichigo pulled away, after a few minutes hesitation, wiped his mouth and asked, "Why did you do that?"

"As Choo, I have to get your first kiss. Do you want to dance?"

Tatsuki giggle slightly and muttered, "Too late."

"I think he's meant to dance with Ginny," Rukia said tactfully. "Orihime, there's a slight problem with your suggestion about dancing. Not all of us have partners in the book or if we do, they're not here."

Feeling grateful to Rukia, but still very upset by the kiss Orihime tried to think.

"I don't want to dance with a man," Chiruzu protested. "I want to dance with Ginny."

"There are more males here. Does that mean we have to dance with each other," Uryu observed wryly.

"Ichigo, can I dance with you?" Keigo was becoming hyperactive.

"Ur, no thanks, I'd prefer to dance with Ginny," Ichigo said hastily and smiled at Orihime.

"I suggest that we all choose our own partners as Harry has already made his choice," Urahara said with a laugh in his voice. "Choo, Yoruichi, will you grant me the honour?"

"Why, Ron, I didn't know you cared," she flirted back.

"But no more kissing teenage boys, unless it's me," he said sternly. "It's too easy to lead them astray."

Orihime couldn't help but notice a fleeting hopeful look pass over Uryu's face before Ichigo took her hand and she didn't notice anything else except what it was like to dance with him.

He danced divinely, even when he accidentally trod on her foot her the third time. He was smiling at her, while he frowned. "Sorry," he apologised again. "Dancing is different to fighting."

"Oh, Ichigo, I mean Harry. It's such fun dancing with you."

Ichigo's face went red and he looked away. "Um, yeah. It's nice dancing with you too, Ginny."

The room was really too small for dancing and after bumping into those who actually bothered to dance, they gave up. Orihime had collected a number of bumps that she was positive would turn into bruises. Before another activity could be suggested she hastily served some pumpkin soup to Chad and Ichigo, feeling guilty that she hadn't done so earlier. Then she started serving the other snacks she had so carefully prepared.

Keigo grabbed a snack, swallowed it whole and then his face went an interesting puce colour and he grabbed his throat and started to choke.

"Oh. I should have mentioned the chillies are hot," she said guiltily.

"Chillies are meant to be hot," Chad said complacently and selected one to eat.

Keigo shook his head vehemently and made motions with his hands to try to indicate that it was a bad idea, but Chad ate it anyway. As the tears streamed down his face and he coughed, Orihime wondered what was wrong. She picked up a chilli and bit into it. It seemed fine to her.

"What did you stuff the chillies with? I thought it was cream cheese," Tatsuki said.

"It was, with some wasabe and Tabasco sauce added," was her simple explanation. It tasted fine to her and the brown sugar she added complimented the bitterness of the cheese.

"I think I'll avoid the chillies. Orihime, maybe you could tell us what ingredients you used in for example the meatballs. Did you vary the recipe I gave you?" Tatsuki eyed the food very warily.

She had tried. She had really made an effort to make the food nice, but while some of the snacks were conventional, she couldn't resist adding little touches to male them more interesting.

"I put some peanut butter in the meatballs and a little bit of Vegemite."

Ichigo straightened his shoulders and took one, placing it carefully in his mouth. As she watched she saw him try to smile with enjoyment but he failed and swallowed the mouthful without really chewing. "That was interesting," he said hoarsely.

Taking her friend by the shoulder, Tatsuki led Orihime over to the bench. "Divide the food into two trays: those where you followed the recipe, and the ones to which you made changes."

"But," Orihime didn't think this was fair. It was her party and Tatsuki was taking over.

Rukia came over and looked at the trays with interest. "I'll help and I'll even try your experiments. I might even send some to Ran, if you don't mind."

The offer impressed Orihime and restored her good mood. As they sorted through the trays, Rukia popped the various 'original' snacks in her mouth. She swallowed each one valiantly and even appeared to like some of them. Then, teasingly she encouraged Tatsuki to try some and she assured Orihime that some of them 'weren't bad'.

"I'll try some too," a loved voice said behind her. Ichigo stood there, looking brave and noble as he selected one of her experiments. This was one that she's only altered a bit and she was gratified by the surprised and pleased look that spread over Ichigo's face. "That's really interesting. It's good."

The rest gathered around and began to sample some of her more original creations and gobbling the more conventional fare. People began laughing, tasting, choking and joking and daring Keigo to eat the more adventurous creations. As was to be expected he took each dare and then cried, each bout of tears causing more of his facial hair to detach. He began to look like he was moulting,

Out of pity, Orihime poured him a glass of lemonade. "Don't eat anything else," she whispered. "There's cake to come."

"Really? Orihime will you marry me?" Keigo asked hopefully.

Mizurio tapped his friend gently on the head. "I can't take you anywhere, can I?"

The mood lightened and instead of playing games, they all relaxed, snacking and chatting. Time passed quickly as she watched Ichigo, happy that he was eating her food and not acting like she was trying to poison him. When she glanced at the time, she noticed the hour was getting late and there was still the most important event.

After she made excuses, she went to the fridge and surreptitiously placed candles on the cake which she tried to light with the minimum of noise and fuss. When all were lit, she picked up the cake and singing 'Happy Birthday' walked up to Ichigo and placed the cake proudly in front of him.

"Wow, Orihime. Did you make that?" Demanded Chizuru and only a quick duck prevented Orihime from receiving another unwelcome embrace.

"For Ichigo. Happy belated birthday," she said a large smile splitting her face.

She watched as Ichigo looked at the cake and then with disbelief at her. "A cake for me? How did you… I mean you even got the hair colour right. It means a lot to me Orihime that you went to so much trouble."

She handed him a knife and said, "Blow out the candles, make a wish and then cut the cake. I'm sure you'll like it. It's your favourite."

"Chocolate!" Ichigo exclaimed and blew out the candles while everyone sang Happy Birthday, although a few people insisted on singing Happy Halloween instead. Greedily he cut the cake and took the first piece. Without hesitation he bit into it and looked pleased until another expression replaced the look of happiness. He chewed a little longer, swallowed and put the cake back on the plate.

"I can taste the chocolate, but there's something else, isn't there?"

He'd noticed. It thrilled her that he'd actually paid attention to her cake and she admitted, "Chocolate and Karashi Mentaiko."

The room once more fell silent and everyone carefully put the piece of cake they were holding down except for Renji who took a large bite and another. He finished the cake before Rukia nudged him in the ribs and he looked at her curiously. "I couldn't taste it. I just had a chilli," he explained. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"But they're your favourite food," Orihime said sadly to Ichigo.

"Separately, not together," he said. "I appreciate it, but I can't eat the cake."

Yoruichi waved her hand at the two of them. "Kiss her. She went to all this trouble for you and you're complaining about the cake. That's pretty ungrateful."

Orihime flushed and swallowed hard. She didn't want to kiss Ichigo in front of all these people.

"I don't see you eating it," Urahara said gently as he stroked her hair.

"I don't like it, but it wasn't made for me," Yoruichi answered as she looked keenly at Ichigo.

"Yeah, kiss the girl," Renji said as he pushed Ichigo closer to Orihime.

"NO," Chizuru appeared distressed.

The last comment seemed to affect Ichigo and he quickly bent and kissed Orihime swiftly on the forehead. "Thanks for the party, Orihime."

She touched her forehead where his lips had briefly lingered. Her first kiss from Ichigo. How she would treasure that.

Urahara made a large gesture as he consulted his wrist. "Look at the time. It's school tomorrow. I think we should all thank our hostess and permit her time to clean up before she sleeps."

Chizuru hurriedly said, "I'll help with it."

"I can't trust you. I'll stay too," Tatsuki said with conviction and began to collect the dirty plates.

It seemed that this was the signal to everyone else. Soon a frenzy of activity made certain that all the plates were clean and some decorations were even taken down before Orihime could protest. "Please, leave some of them up! I like them. They'll remind me of how much fun we had."

Ichigo looked at her and smiled and her heart went all droopy. "See you tomorrow, Orihime."

As if that were a signal, everyone else wished her good night and thanked her for the party. Minutes later, after trying to avoid further unwelcome embraces from some of the guests, Orihime was alone in her apartment with a few jack o' lanterns for company.

"I wonder if I should throw him another surprise party next year," she thought and dreamily went to bed thinking of pumpkins and kisses.

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Author's Note

A themed chapter and in Australia this is a day late for Halloween but as we don't really take it as seriously as the US, I don't think it matters.

This may be the last Snack Time chapter for some time. At present no ideas have presented themselves and I need the time for other projects.

Please review.

MS


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